WEBVTT

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Hi, this is David Mould from Lehman for
Religious Liberty.

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The tape that you are about to listen to
is an exceedingly graphic and gripping

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tape.

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It's a testimony of an ex-nun by the name
of Sister Charlotte, whom disappeared

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approximately two years after having given
this testimony.

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If you have young children with you,
you may wish to screen this tape and

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listen to it yourself before determining
whether you want your child to hear the

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material that is on it.

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We're releasing this tape in Jamaica,
not that we might engender any hatred

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toward the Roman Catholic Church or the
Roman Catholic people, but rather that you

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might be educated, educated as to the
other side of Roman Catholicism.

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The Pope is coming sometime around October
12, 1992.

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We'd like to flood Jamaica with copies of
this tape that, when he comes,

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some brave soul might be inspired to ask,
Well, John Paul, what can you tell us

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about Sister Charlotte?

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To be forewarned is to be forearmed.

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You probably received this tape without
paying anything for it.

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We wish to let you know that you have our
permission to duplicate it as many,

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many times as you wish.

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But please do not charge.

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Give the tapes away, spread them far and
wide, that Jamaica might receive the

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education of a lifetime.

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Thank you.

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First of all, I always like to tell folk
I'm not giving this testimony because I

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have any ill feeling in my heart toward
the Roman Catholic people.

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I couldn't be a Christian if I still had
bitterness in my heart.

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God delivered me from all bitterness and
strife and delivered me out of all of that

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one day and made himself real to me in the
power of the Holy Spirit.

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And so when I give this testimony,
I'm giving it because after God saved me,

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he delivered me out of the convent and out
of bondage and darkness, the Lord laid the

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burden upon my heart to give this
testimony that others might know what

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cloistered convents are.

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And so as you listen carefully this
afternoon, I trust I will not say one

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thing that will leave any feeling in your
heart whatsoever that I don't carry a

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burden for the Roman Catholic people.

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I don't like the things they do.

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I don't agree with the things that they
teach.

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But I covet their soul for Jesus.

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I'm interested in their souls.

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I believe Jesus went to Calvary.

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He died that you and I might know him.

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And their souls are just as precious as
your soul and my soul.

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So I'm interested.

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First of all, as we slip into this
testimony, having been born in Roman

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Catholicism, not knowing anything else,
not knowing the Word of God because we

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didn't have a Bible in our home.

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We had never heard anything about this
wonderful plan of salvation.

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And so naturally I grew up in that Roman
Catholic home as a child, knowing only the

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Catechism, knowing only the teaching of
the Roman Catholic Church.

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And because I loved the Lord, and because
I wanted to do something for him,

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I wanted to give him my life, I didn't
know of any other way for a Roman Catholic

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girl to give her life to God other than
entering a convent.

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And through going to the confessional box
where, naturally, I'm under the influence

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of my father confessor, the Roman Catholic
priest, his influence over my life,

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one day I made up my mind, through his
influence and one of my teachers in the

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parochial school, that I wanted to be a
little sister.

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At that time I thought of being a sister
of the open order.

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But as I went on into this, up until the
time I took my white veil, sixteen and a

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half years of age, everything was
beautiful.

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I really didn't have any fear in my heart
whatsoever, everything was taught to me

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was seemingly along the line that I had
been taught in the church before I entered

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a convent.

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And so one day after having been,
after making up my mind to enter a

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convent, I remember that particular day,
two of the sisters came home with me from

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school, they were my teachers,
and when we arrived at my father's home

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that afternoon, our father confessor was
in the home likewise.

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I often say when I was a little girl,
children were seen and not heard.

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You didn't talk when you were a child,
at least you didn't in my family,

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in my home, unless you were spoken to.

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And I remember I listened to them carry on
a conversation, and then I moved over

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close enough to my father to ask him if I
could say something.

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That was a bit out of the ordinary,
and he permitted me to talk, and I said,

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Dad, I want to go into a convent.

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And I'll tell you that priest took it up
quickly.

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It had already been influencing me.

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My father broke down and began to cry,
not because he's sad, but he's very happy.

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My mother came over and took me in her
arms, and she too wept tears, she was very

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happy.

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Those were not tears of sadness,
because I think her little girl was giving

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her life to the convent to pray for lost
humanity.

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And naturally my family were very thrilled
about it, and I was too.

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But anyway, I didn't go for about a year
after that, and then the time come when I

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got myself ready and my mother prepared
things for me, and so I entered the

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convent.

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They took me, and we didn't have a place
close enough to my father and mother's

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home, so I think they took me around a
thousand miles away from home,

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where I entered a convent boarding school.

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I liked about three months, being 13 years
of age, just a little girl.

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I look back on it now and think,
my homesick, I was so homesick.

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Why, my mother and daddy, they stayed
three days with me, and when they left I

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became so homesick naturally.

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Why shouldn't I?

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Just a baby away from home.

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And when I was a little girl, you know,
I had never spent a night away from my

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mother, and I surely had never gone any
place without my family, and naturally

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there was a close tie in our family,
and I was very lonely and very homesick.

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But I'll never forget after dad and mother
told me goodbye, and I knew they were

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traveling a long distance away from me,
and I had never realized in my heart,

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I'll never see them again.

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Naturally, I hadn't planned it like that,
because I planned to be a sister of the

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open order.

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But if you listen carefully to this
portion of the testimony, then you'll

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understand just why I'm saying some of the
things that I say.

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Now, oftentimes we say the priest selects
his material through the confessional box,

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because at seven years of age,
I went to confessional.

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Seven years of age, I would always,
when I come into the church, first I'd

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sleep over at the feet of the crucifix,
rather the Virgin Mary, and then over at

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the feet of the crucifix, and I'd ask the
Virgin Mary to help me make a good

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confession.

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Because I was a child and my heart was
honest, and I knew the priest had taught

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us to always make a good confession,
keep nothing back, tell everything,

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if I expected absolution from any sin that
I might have committed.

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So I would ask the Virgin Mary to help me
make a good confession.

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I would ask Jesus to help me make a good
confession.

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And you know, I'll assure you,
when I, after I lived in the convent for a

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short period of time, now I had to go on
with my schooling, I'd just finished the

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eighth grade, and they promised me to give
me a high school education, some college

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education, but I didn't get much college,
I got mostly just high school training,

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and they gave that to me all right,
I took it under some terrible difficulties

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and strains and all of that, it was rather
difficult, but they gave it to me,

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for which I appreciate very, very much.

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But I'll assure you, after they put me
through the crucial training that we must

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go through to become just a little
novitiate entering a convent, the training

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is really, it's outstanding as far as a
nun is concerned, and you know what it's

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all about, after you've been in there for
a little while.

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So now I've entered the convent,
and for just a few minutes, we want to

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tell you just a little bit how we live,
what we eat, how we sleep, that'll,

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if I take you into the convent and tell
you those things, you'll understand a

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little bit more about my testimony.

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First, as I entered the convent as a small
child, I went on to school, but I was

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being trained, but the day came,
possibly I was fourteen and a half,

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when the Mother Spirit began to tell me
about the white veil.

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And I didn't know too much about it,
but taking the white veil, they told me

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that I would become the spouse of the
bride of Jesus Christ.

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There would be a ceremony, and I would be
dressed in a wedding garment.

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And on this particular morning,
they told me at nine o'clock, they would

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dress me up in a wedding garment.

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Now, you're wondering where that comes
from, and how they get the wedding clothes

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for the little nuns.

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The Mother Spirit sits down and writes a
letter to my father and tells him how much

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money she wants.

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And then, whatever she asks, my father
sends it, and she, the little buying

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sister, goes out and buys the material,
and the wedding gown is made by the nuns

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of the cloister.

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I'm still open order now.

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And of course, whatever she asks,
now you say, did they spend all the money

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for the wedding gown?

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Well, of course, we don't know these
things in the very beginning of our

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testimony, but after we live in a convent
for a little while, we'll learn to know.

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They could ask my father for a hundred
dollars, and he'd send it.

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And they wouldn't use maybe a third of
that for the wedding garment, but they

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would keep the rest of it.

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And my father would never know the
difference, neither did I, until I lived

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in the convent for a period of time,
and I had to make some of the wedding

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clothes, and then I knew the value of them
and what they cost, and I knew of the

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money that came in because I was one of
the older nuns.

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Well, all right, the time came,
of course, when I walked down that aisle,

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and I was dressed in a wedding garment.

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Now, you know, in the convent,
I used to walk the 14 stations of the

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cross, the 14 steps that Jesus carried the
cross to Calvary, but after I had made up

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my mind to take the white veil,
never again did I walk.

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I wanted to be worthy.

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I wanted to be holy enough to become the
spouse of the bride of Jesus Christ.

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And so I would get out on my knees and
crawl the 14 stations.

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It's quite a distance, but I crawled them.

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Every Friday morning, I felt it would make
me holy.

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I felt it would draw me closer to God.

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It would make me worthy of the step that I
was going to take, and that's what I

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wanted more than anything in the world.

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I would like to impress on your hearts,
every little girl that enters the convent

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that I know anything about, that child has
a desire to live for God.

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That child has a desire to give her heart,
mind, and soul to God.

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Now many, many people make this remark,
and we hear it from various types of folk,

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who say only bad women go into convents.

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That isn't true.

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There are movie stars who go into
convents, and they've lived out in the

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world, no doubt they are sinners and all
of that, but they go in when they're

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women, they know what they're doing.

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And they go in only because the Roman
Catholic Church is going to receive not

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only thousands, but yeah, it'll run up
into the millions of dollars, and they

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don't mind who they take in if they can
get a lot of money out of that individual.

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But the ordinary little girl that goes in
as a child, she's just a child,

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and she goes in there with a heart and
mind and soul just as clean as any child

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could be.

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I say that because sometimes we hear a lot
of things that are really not true.

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Now, after we become the spouse of Jesus
Christ, I want you to listen carefully to

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this, and then you can follow me into the
rest of the testimony.

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We are now looked upon as married women.

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We are looked upon as married women.

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We are the spouse or the bride of Jesus
Christ.

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Now, the priest teaches every little girl
that will take the white veil,

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they'll become the bride of Christ.

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He teaches her to believe that her family
will be saved.

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It doesn't make any difference how many
banks they rob, how many stores they rob.

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It doesn't make any difference how they
drink and smoke and carouse and live out

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in this sinful world and do all the things
that sinners do.

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It doesn't make a bit of difference.

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Still, our family will be saved if we
continue to live in the convent and give

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our life to the convent or to the church.

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We can rest assured that every member of
our immediate family will be saved.

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And you know there are many little
children that are influenced and enticed

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to go into convents because we realize it
is a salvation for our families.

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And sometimes, even Roman Catholic
families, the children grow up and leave

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the Roman Catholic Church and go out into
the deepest of sin.

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And so every little girl that enters a
convent is hoping by her sacrificing so

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much, home and loved ones, mother and
daddy, everything that a child loves,

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her family will be saved regardless of
what sins they commit.

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And of course we are children and our
minds are immature and we don't know any

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better.

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And it's so easy to instill things like
this into the hearts and minds of little

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children.

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And the priest is really good at it.

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And of course we look upon our priest,
our father confessor, I looked upon him as

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God.

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He is the only God I knew anything about.

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And to me he was infallible.

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I didn't think he could sin.

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I didn't think that he would lie.

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I didn't think that he ever made a
mistake.

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I looked upon him as the holiest of holy
because I didn't know a God, but I did

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know the Roman Catholic priest.

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And to me, I looked to him for everything
that I ask of any of God, so to speak.

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I believed the priest could give it to me.

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And so the day comes, oh in all of us.

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Now, as we are going in, I want you to
listen carefully.

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After taking the white veil, things are
beautiful.

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I'm sixteen and a half years of age.

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Everyone is good to me.

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And I'm living in the convent and I
haven't seen anything yet.

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Because no little girl, we are not subject
to a Roman Catholic priest until we are

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twenty-one years of age.

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And as we give you this next vow,
then you'll understand that we don't know

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about this.

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This is kept from the little sisters until
we've taken our black veil.

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And then it's too late.

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I don't carry the keys to those double
doors.

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And there's no way for me to come out.

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The priest will tell all over the whole
United States and other countries that

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sisters, or nuns rather, can walk out of
convents when they want to.

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I spent twenty-two years there.

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I did everything there was to do to get
out.

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I've carried tablespoons with me into the
dungeons and tried to dig down into that

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dirt because there's no floors in those
places.

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But I never yet found myself digging far
enough to get out of a convent with a

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tablespoon.

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And that's about the only instrument.

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Because when we're using the spade,
and we do have to do hard, heavy work.

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When we use a spade, we're being guarded,
we're being watched by two older nuns,

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and they're going to report on it.

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And I'll assure you, you're not going to
try to dig out with a spade, and you

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wouldn't get very far anyway.

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Because they've made those convents,
or built those convents, so little nuns

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cannot escape.

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That was their purpose in building them,
as they build them.

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And there's no way for us to get out
unless God makes a way.

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But I believe God's making a way for
numbers of little girls after they come

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out of the convents.

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All right, now when the time comes,
I think I was 18 when the mother began

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talking to me.

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Now I planned to come out, see,
after my white veil.

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I wanted to be a little nursing sister in
the Roman church.

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But the Mother Superior, I suppose she was
watching my life.

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I suppose she realized I had much
endurance, I had a strong body.

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And I believe the woman was watching me,
because one day she asked me to come into

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her office, and she began to tell me,
Charlotte, you have a strong body.

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And she said, I believe you have the
possibilities of making a good nun,

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a cloistered nun.

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I believe you're the type that would be
willing to give up home, give up mother

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and daddy, give up everything you love out
in the world, and the world, so to speak,

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and hide yourself away behind convent
doors, because I believe you're the kind

15:20.400 --> 15:24.060
who would hide back there and be willing
to sacrifice and live in crucial poverty,

15:24.420 --> 15:26.240
that you might pray for lost humanity.

15:26.240 --> 15:29.920
She said, I believe you're the kind who'd
be willing to suffer, because we are

15:29.920 --> 15:35.120
taught to believe as nuns that as we
suffer, our loved ones and your loved ones

15:35.120 --> 15:39.280
that are already in a priest's purgatory
will be delivered from purgatory sooner

15:39.280 --> 15:40.800
because of our suffering.

15:41.220 --> 15:42.560
She knew I was willing to suffer.

15:42.680 --> 15:43.420
I didn't murmur.

15:43.700 --> 15:44.660
I didn't complain.

15:45.060 --> 15:46.920
She knew all of that, and she's watching
my life.

15:46.980 --> 15:49.320
And that's the reason she began to tell me
about the black veil.

15:49.760 --> 15:52.260
And then, of course, you know,
I didn't know too much about a cloistered

15:52.260 --> 15:52.480
nun.

15:52.480 --> 15:54.180
I didn't know their life.

15:54.300 --> 15:55.140
I didn't know how they lived.

15:55.240 --> 15:56.300
I didn't know what they'd done.

15:56.660 --> 15:58.560
But, you know, this woman proceeded to
tell me.

15:59.720 --> 16:03.940
Now, I hear a lot of people try to tell me
in the various places that we travel and

16:03.940 --> 16:04.200
go.

16:04.560 --> 16:07.560
I hear a lot of Roman Catholics try to
tell me, I've been in so many cloisters,

16:07.640 --> 16:08.580
I know all about them.

16:08.900 --> 16:12.700
But, you know, a Roman Catholic can lie to
you, and they don't have to go to

16:12.700 --> 16:17.200
confession and tell the priest about the
lie that they told, because they're lying

16:17.200 --> 16:18.360
to protect their faith.

16:18.360 --> 16:22.500
They can tell any lie they want to,
to protect their faith, and never go to

16:22.500 --> 16:24.800
the confessional box and tell the priest
about it.

16:24.960 --> 16:26.140
They can do more than that.

16:26.380 --> 16:30.020
They can steal up to $40, and they don't
have to tell the priest about it.

16:30.060 --> 16:32.560
They don't have to say one word about it
in the confessional box.

16:32.760 --> 16:33.480
They are taught that.

16:33.520 --> 16:36.080
Every Roman Catholic knows it,
and every Roman Catholic, you'd be

16:36.080 --> 16:39.100
horrified to know how many of them steal
up to that amount.

16:39.420 --> 16:40.660
And many of them lie.

16:40.900 --> 16:41.540
We've dealt with them.

16:41.620 --> 16:43.300
I've dealt with hundreds and hundreds of
them.

16:43.580 --> 16:47.160
I've seen a good many of them fall into
the altar and cry out to God to save them.

16:47.160 --> 16:51.060
And you know, before they're saved,
they look into my face and hold my hand

16:51.060 --> 16:51.800
and lie to me.

16:51.980 --> 16:55.640
But after God gets a hold of their heart,
then they want to make right what they've

16:55.640 --> 16:57.600
told me, because they realize they've lied
about it.

16:57.800 --> 17:00.100
But as long as they're Roman Catholic,
they're permitted to lie.

17:00.420 --> 17:04.620
And it's the saddest thing, and you can't
expect them to know God, because God does

17:04.620 --> 17:06.260
not condone sin.

17:06.520 --> 17:09.160
I don't care who you are, but I don't
believe God condones sin.

17:09.460 --> 17:11.960
And I don't believe He's going to condone
it in the Roman Catholic people,

17:11.960 --> 17:15.920
even though they're being misled and
they're being blinded and led in the ways

17:15.920 --> 17:19.400
that's going to lead them into devil's
hell.

17:19.580 --> 17:23.840
I believe that with all of my heart,
because I've lived in a convent and I know

17:23.840 --> 17:25.820
something about how those people live and
what they do.

17:26.040 --> 17:27.040
Now the day comes.

17:27.260 --> 17:29.940
She told me, Charlotte, you'll have to be
willing to spill your blood.

17:30.320 --> 17:32.040
As Jesus said, His upon Calvary.

17:32.360 --> 17:35.340
She said you'll have to be willing to do
penance, heavy penance.

17:35.620 --> 17:38.220
She said you'll have to be willing to live
in crucial poverty.

17:38.220 --> 17:42.360
Now already I'm living in a bit of
poverty, but I thought that was going to

17:42.360 --> 17:44.320
make me holy and draw me closer to God.

17:44.580 --> 17:48.300
And it would make me a better nun,
and so I'm willing to live in that

17:48.300 --> 17:48.680
poverty.

17:49.180 --> 17:52.100
And then on this particular morning,
she told me what I would be wearing.

17:52.380 --> 17:54.320
She said you'll spend nine hours in a
casket.

17:54.680 --> 17:56.440
And she explained a number of things to
me.

17:56.480 --> 17:57.800
That's the most I knew about it.

17:58.060 --> 18:00.500
And I didn't find that out until I'd taken
my white veil.

18:00.880 --> 18:03.720
And so on this particular morning,
I'm 21 years of age.

18:03.720 --> 18:08.620
But 60 days previous to my being 21 years
of age, I'm going to sign some papers that

18:08.620 --> 18:09.760
they placed in front of me.

18:10.060 --> 18:11.320
And those papers are this.

18:11.600 --> 18:15.700
I'm going to sign away every bit of
inheritance that I might have received

18:15.700 --> 18:18.260
from my family after their death.

18:18.520 --> 18:21.080
Of course, I signed that over to the Roman
Catholic Church.

18:21.540 --> 18:26.120
And oftentimes I say the Roman Catholic
priests are enticing girls.

18:26.640 --> 18:30.920
Not only their background, and not only
their strong bodies, their strong minds

18:30.920 --> 18:31.880
and strong wills.

18:31.880 --> 18:35.060
But he's enticing girls where mothers and
fathers have much property.

18:35.540 --> 18:38.320
And they are comforted to be fixed to the
material things of this life.

18:38.620 --> 18:38.800
Why?

18:38.920 --> 18:42.480
Because when that child enters the
convent, they're going to get a portion of

18:42.480 --> 18:43.780
her money, of her father's money.

18:44.160 --> 18:48.260
And I often say even salvation in the
Roman Catholic Church is going to cost you

18:48.260 --> 18:50.560
plenty of money, more than you know
anything about.

18:50.880 --> 18:55.320
And so they don't mind commercializing off
of that child and the inheritance that

18:55.320 --> 18:56.100
would have come to her.

18:56.400 --> 19:00.260
And so on this particular morning,
I told the Mother Spirit, give me a little

19:00.260 --> 19:01.100
while to think it over.

19:01.100 --> 19:02.100
She didn't make me do it.

19:02.160 --> 19:02.760
No one did.

19:03.140 --> 19:04.900
But I thought it over for a couple years.

19:05.200 --> 19:09.560
And then one day I told her, I think I'm
going to hide away behind the convent

19:09.560 --> 19:12.520
doors because I believed I could give more
time to God.

19:12.800 --> 19:13.900
I could pray more, more.

19:14.280 --> 19:18.740
I maybe would be in a position where I
could inflict more pain upon my body.

19:18.880 --> 19:22.720
Because we are taught to believe that God
smiles down out of heaven as we do

19:22.720 --> 19:24.840
penance, whatever the suffering might be.

19:25.040 --> 19:28.680
And I didn't know any better because I
often say, if you could only look into the

19:28.680 --> 19:30.140
hearts of little nuns.

19:30.140 --> 19:35.680
If you are a Christian, you would
immediately cry out before God in behalf

19:35.680 --> 19:36.500
of those little girls.

19:36.720 --> 19:38.520
Because to me, we are heathens.

19:38.740 --> 19:41.520
It doesn't make any difference the amount
of education we may have.

19:41.680 --> 19:42.620
We are still heathens.

19:42.720 --> 19:44.320
We know nothing about this lovely Christ.

19:44.620 --> 19:46.220
Nothing about the plan of salvation.

19:46.660 --> 19:49.000
And we're living as hermits in the
convent.

19:49.340 --> 19:53.080
And so on this particular morning,
I come walking down the Nile again.

19:53.080 --> 19:59.300
And may I say, the morning before,
I can't go into it too deep because I

19:59.300 --> 20:02.060
never would be able to cover enough of it
so you could understand it.

20:02.220 --> 20:05.300
But this morning, I'm walking down that
aisle, but I don't have a wedding garment

20:05.300 --> 20:05.640
on.

20:05.880 --> 20:06.980
I have a funeral shroud.

20:07.340 --> 20:08.940
It's made of dark red velvet.

20:09.440 --> 20:11.000
And it's way down to the floor.

20:11.440 --> 20:12.980
And I'm walking down that aisle.

20:13.060 --> 20:14.520
Now I know what I'm going to do.

20:14.780 --> 20:18.040
The casket is all ready made by the nuns
of the cloister.

20:18.380 --> 20:20.560
Very rough boards, and it's sitting right
out here.

20:20.560 --> 20:24.400
And I know when I come down there that
I'll step in that casket and lay my body

20:24.400 --> 20:24.820
down.

20:25.260 --> 20:27.320
And I'm going to spend nine hours in
there.

20:27.840 --> 20:32.580
And two little nuns will come and cover me
up with a heavy black cloth we call a

20:32.580 --> 20:33.580
heavy drape mortel.

20:34.000 --> 20:37.280
And you know, it's so heavily incensed
that I feel like I'll smother to death.

20:37.520 --> 20:38.680
And I have to stay there.

20:39.020 --> 20:43.140
Now I know when I come out of that casket,
I'll never leave the convent again.

20:43.400 --> 20:45.500
I know I'll never see my mother and father
again.

20:45.660 --> 20:46.960
I'll never go home again.

20:46.960 --> 20:49.280
I'll always live behind convent doors.

20:49.420 --> 20:51.700
And when I die, my body will be buried
there.

20:51.780 --> 20:52.560
They told me that.

20:52.780 --> 20:54.240
So I knew it even before I'd done it.

20:54.320 --> 20:58.580
It's a great price to pay for them to find
out that convents are not religious orders

20:58.580 --> 21:00.700
as we were taught and as we were trained.

21:00.840 --> 21:04.480
It's quite a disappointment to a young
girl that's given her life to God and

21:04.480 --> 21:06.860
willing to give up so much and sacrifice
so much.

21:06.980 --> 21:08.520
I'll assure you, it was a disappointment.

21:09.020 --> 21:10.920
And so after I spent those...

21:10.920 --> 21:12.700
Now you say, what did you do while you lay
in that casket?

21:12.980 --> 21:14.140
What do you think I did?

21:14.540 --> 21:16.580
I spilled every tear in my body.

21:16.580 --> 21:19.500
I remembered every lovely thing my mother
done for me.

21:19.880 --> 21:21.100
I remembered her voice.

21:21.620 --> 21:23.480
I remembered the gathering around the
table.

21:24.040 --> 21:26.680
I remembered the times when she would pray
with us.

21:27.220 --> 21:29.060
I remember the things that she said to me.

21:29.400 --> 21:31.620
I remember what a marvelous cook she was.

21:32.080 --> 21:35.340
Everything as a little girl growing up in
that home, I remembered it.

21:35.560 --> 21:38.580
Laying in that casket, knowing I'll never
hear her voice again.

21:38.680 --> 21:39.980
I'll never see her face again.

21:40.240 --> 21:42.380
I'll never put my feet under her table
again.

21:42.480 --> 21:43.560
Enjoy her good cooking.

21:43.800 --> 21:44.640
I knew all that.

21:44.640 --> 21:48.000
And so maybe for four hours, I spilled all
the tears in my body.

21:48.220 --> 21:49.540
Because it was so hard.

21:49.860 --> 21:51.260
And I knew I'd get homesick.

21:51.460 --> 21:53.180
I knew I'd want to see her someday.

21:53.520 --> 21:55.080
But I gave it all up.

21:55.180 --> 21:55.660
What for?

21:55.960 --> 21:57.380
For the love of God, I thought.

21:57.440 --> 21:58.400
I didn't know any better.

21:58.800 --> 22:00.940
And I'll assure you, those were nine long
hours.

22:01.260 --> 22:04.120
And then I seemingly got a hold of myself
and I thought, Leah Charlotte,

22:04.540 --> 22:06.580
now you're going to make the best
Carmelite nun.

22:06.680 --> 22:09.740
Because everything I've ever done,
even that I'm out of the convent,

22:09.760 --> 22:10.860
I do give my best.

22:10.860 --> 22:14.760
I try to give everything that I have in
regardless what I might do.

22:15.060 --> 22:16.180
And so I did in the convent.

22:16.260 --> 22:17.700
I gave the best that I have.

22:17.900 --> 22:20.740
And I wanted to be the best nun that I
could possibly be.

22:21.060 --> 22:22.460
And the Mother Superior knew that.

22:22.540 --> 22:24.300
And don't worry, the priest knew all about
it too.

22:24.720 --> 22:30.580
Now I realize, after I walk out of that
casket or come out of it, they're going to

22:30.580 --> 22:31.340
take me like this.

22:31.360 --> 22:33.020
Over here and right back here is a room.

22:33.080 --> 22:34.740
We call it the Mother Superior's room.

22:35.200 --> 22:37.340
Now I've never been in that particular
room.

22:37.540 --> 22:39.460
So I don't know what she has in there.

22:39.460 --> 22:43.340
But you know when I walk in there this
time, the Mother Superior sits me down in

22:43.340 --> 22:44.960
a straight back, hard bottom chair.

22:45.460 --> 22:49.400
And immediately then I'm going to take
three vows of poverty, chastity,

22:49.520 --> 22:50.040
and obedience.

22:50.700 --> 22:55.180
And you know, as I take those vows,
she opens a little place in the lobe of my

22:55.180 --> 22:56.840
ear and takes out a portion of blood.

22:57.140 --> 22:59.720
Because I must sign every vow in my own
blood.

23:00.200 --> 23:04.140
And after that happens, then I'm going to
take the vow of poverty.

23:04.560 --> 23:07.120
Now when I sign that vow, I sign it thus.

23:07.120 --> 23:11.460
And I'm willing to live in crucial
poverty, the balance of my life as long as

23:11.460 --> 23:11.940
I live.

23:12.400 --> 23:15.040
And what that poverty is like,
of course we don't know.

23:15.440 --> 23:18.200
And then my next vow, I'm going to a vow
of chastity.

23:18.720 --> 23:21.260
And you know this vow, of course you know
what it means.

23:21.580 --> 23:24.880
I'm taught to believe that I'm married to
Jesus Christ, I am his bride.

23:25.260 --> 23:28.620
I'll always remain a virgin, I'll never
legally marry again in this world,

23:28.680 --> 23:32.220
because I have become the spouse of the
bride of Jesus Christ.

23:32.560 --> 23:35.940
After the Bishop married me to Christ,
he placed the ring on my finger,

23:35.940 --> 23:37.960
and that meant I'm sealed to Christ.

23:38.100 --> 23:41.000
I'm married to him and I accepted it
because I didn't know any better.

23:41.580 --> 23:46.240
And now here I am, taking a vow that I
would always remain a virgin, because I'm

23:46.240 --> 23:47.180
the bride of Christ.

23:47.500 --> 23:48.900
And I want you to listen carefully.

23:49.360 --> 23:51.740
And then of course my last vow,
of obedience.

23:52.280 --> 23:56.340
Now when we sign that vow, I'll assure you
already I know what obedience means.

23:56.580 --> 23:57.740
I'm living in a convent.

23:58.100 --> 24:00.480
And there they demand absolute obedience.

24:00.960 --> 24:03.440
You don't get by with anything,
not even for two minutes.

24:03.440 --> 24:07.720
I mean you don't get by with it,
you have to realize what obedience means,

24:07.800 --> 24:12.040
and they demand it, and you learn to know
it, and you're much wiser the more quickly

24:12.040 --> 24:14.980
you learn it and you obey it, and you give
them absolute obedience.

24:15.340 --> 24:18.900
All right, now, what does it mean to
assign vows like this?

24:18.920 --> 24:23.000
Let me tell you this, it means more than
you folk will ever know, because most

24:23.000 --> 24:26.340
people that I know anything about,
they know very little about obedience.

24:26.680 --> 24:30.040
Oh in a sense, yes, but you'll never know
what a little nun knows about obedience,

24:30.140 --> 24:32.800
I'll assure you that one thing,
unless you live in the convent.

24:32.800 --> 24:37.660
All right, that particular vow,
when I signed it into my own blood,

24:38.040 --> 24:42.620
it done something to me, because after
I've signed those vows, do you realize

24:42.620 --> 24:45.360
that I've signed away everything I have?

24:45.600 --> 24:49.120
My human rights, I have become a
mechanical human being now.

24:49.500 --> 24:52.920
I can't sit down until they tell me to,
I don't dare to get up until they tell me

24:52.920 --> 24:56.580
to, I can't lie down until they tell me
to, and neither do I dare to get up.

24:56.800 --> 25:01.100
I cannot eat until they tell me to,
and what I see I don't see, what I hear I

25:01.100 --> 25:02.620
don't hear, what I feel I don't feel.

25:02.620 --> 25:06.480
I've become a mechanical human being,
but you're not aware of that, until you

25:06.480 --> 25:08.000
have signed all these vows.

25:08.280 --> 25:12.340
Then you realize, here I am, a mechanical
human being, and of course I belong to

25:12.340 --> 25:14.260
Rome now, I'll assure you that right now.

25:14.620 --> 25:18.820
All right, we become, after this
particular vows, we become forgotten women

25:18.820 --> 25:21.820
of the convent, in just a short while
you'll understand what I'm talking about.

25:22.260 --> 25:26.800
Now immediately after I've taken those
vows, then the Mother Superior is going to

25:26.800 --> 25:30.720
give me, take away from me my name,
and give me the name of a patron saint.

25:30.720 --> 25:34.280
And she teaches me to believe that
whatever happens to me in the convent,

25:34.580 --> 25:37.880
I can pray to that patron saint,
and she will intercede and get my prayers

25:37.880 --> 25:41.400
through to God, because I'm not holy
enough to stand in the presence of God.

25:41.640 --> 25:44.680
It isn't a wonder that dear little nuns
can never get close enough to God.

25:44.940 --> 25:47.980
We have always been taught that we will
never be holy enough to stand in His

25:47.980 --> 25:52.000
presence, and we always have to go through
somebody else in order to get a prayer

25:52.000 --> 25:52.700
through to God.

25:52.800 --> 25:55.000
And we believe it because we don't know
any better.

25:55.380 --> 25:59.540
And so now all identification of who
Charlotte was is going to be put away.

25:59.540 --> 26:01.200
It'll be taken away from me.

26:01.420 --> 26:04.440
And if you knew me and would come to the
convent and call for my family name,

26:04.500 --> 26:06.140
they'd tell you there isn't such a person
as that.

26:06.380 --> 26:10.580
I don't exist, even though I'm right
there, because I'm writing under another

26:10.580 --> 26:10.920
name.

26:11.140 --> 26:14.800
Now the Mother Superior is going to cut
every bit of hair off of my head,

26:15.260 --> 26:17.840
and when she cuts it with a scissor,
she puts the clippers on it.

26:18.120 --> 26:19.380
And I mean there's nothing left.

26:19.480 --> 26:22.500
I just don't have one speck of hair left
on my head.

26:22.740 --> 26:25.980
And of course, if you could be a nun,
you would understand the heavy headgear

26:25.980 --> 26:26.880
that we have to wear.

26:26.880 --> 26:30.580
We'd be so cumbersome to have hair and so
cumbersome to take care of it,

26:30.600 --> 26:32.700
we don't have any ways of taking care of
it in the convent.

26:32.980 --> 26:36.300
There are no combs in the convent,
and so you can imagine how hard it would

26:36.300 --> 26:37.960
be for us to take care of a head of hair.

26:38.220 --> 26:40.960
It's not necessary that we have a comb
after they finish with us.

26:41.280 --> 26:43.340
All right, now, this is my black veil.

26:44.460 --> 26:46.860
These are my perpetual vows, we'll call
them.

26:47.160 --> 26:49.040
I'm there, and I'm going to stay there.

26:49.520 --> 26:52.960
Now, you know, up until this time,
I received a letter once a month from my

26:52.960 --> 26:56.520
family, and I wrote a letter out of the
convent once a month to my family.

26:56.520 --> 27:00.420
Even though when I'd write that letter,
I had no doubt they marked out a lot of

27:00.420 --> 27:03.780
it, because when I would receive a letter
from my family, there was so much of it

27:03.780 --> 27:05.840
blacked out until there was no sense to
the letter.

27:06.160 --> 27:07.800
And oh, I'd weep over those black marks.

27:07.900 --> 27:10.180
I was wondering what my mother was trying
to say to me.

27:10.400 --> 27:13.480
Don't worry, you'll never get to know what
she wanted to say to you, because they

27:13.480 --> 27:14.400
have blacked it out.

27:14.700 --> 27:17.480
And so it would break your heart many,
many times, and you're lonely anyway,

27:17.620 --> 27:19.740
because you have no friends in the
convent.

27:20.000 --> 27:23.900
I'll assure you, even though there was 180
on my particular wing, not one of those

27:23.900 --> 27:27.880
nuns were my friend, and neither was I a
friend to them, because we are not allowed

27:27.880 --> 27:29.100
to be friends in the convent.

27:29.420 --> 27:31.840
We are all policemen or detectives
watching each other.

27:32.160 --> 27:32.920
That's so we'll tell.

27:33.160 --> 27:36.800
And the little nun that finds something to
tell on the other nuns, she stands in good

27:36.800 --> 27:38.000
favor with the Mother Superior.

27:38.440 --> 27:40.300
And then the mother teaches that nun to
believe.

27:40.600 --> 27:43.780
When she stands in good favor with the
Mother Superior, she's standing in good

27:43.780 --> 27:44.640
favor with God.

27:44.960 --> 27:47.780
And so that little nun, of course,
will want that, and she'll tell a lot of

27:47.780 --> 27:50.520
things maybe that are not even true on the
other little nuns.

27:50.520 --> 27:55.060
All right, now after all of this has
transpired and all of this has happened,

27:56.220 --> 27:57.920
everything I have is gone.

27:58.020 --> 28:04.840
I've sold my soul for a mess of
theological pottage, because not only are

28:04.840 --> 28:09.220
we destroyed in our bodies, many of us in
our minds, and many of us, if we die in

28:09.220 --> 28:11.080
the convent, we've lost our soul.

28:11.580 --> 28:16.480
And so it's a serious thing, and I surely
covet your prayers for all little nuns

28:16.480 --> 28:17.960
behind clustered convent doors.

28:17.960 --> 28:19.080
They'll never hear this gospel.

28:19.560 --> 28:22.000
They'll never know the Christ that you
folk know today.

28:22.960 --> 28:25.800
They'll never pray to Him as you people
pray to Him.

28:26.020 --> 28:29.060
They'll never feel His blessings as you
people feel them.

28:29.300 --> 28:31.420
And so put them on your heart and pray for
them.

28:31.480 --> 28:32.640
They surely need much prayer.

28:33.100 --> 28:36.500
All right, now as I walk into that room
and all of this is transpiring,

28:36.840 --> 28:40.000
now bless your hearts, I don't know what's
going to be in the next room.

28:40.400 --> 28:44.760
After this has transpired and I've taken
the vows that I will always remain a

28:44.760 --> 28:48.480
virgin, I'll never legally marry in this
world because I'm the spouse of Christ,

28:48.940 --> 28:52.320
and then after this, the Mother Superior
leads me out into another room,

28:52.400 --> 28:55.860
or rather she opens the door, and I'm to
be sent into that room.

28:56.220 --> 28:59.760
And when I walk out in that room,
I see something I have never seen before.

29:00.140 --> 29:04.440
I see a Roman Catholic priest dressed in a
holy habit, and he walks over to me and

29:04.440 --> 29:09.460
locks his arm in my arm, which he had
never done in the first part of my convent

29:09.460 --> 29:09.800
life.

29:10.060 --> 29:12.380
I never had a priest to insult me in any
way.

29:12.380 --> 29:16.880
I never had one of them to be even unkind
to me in the first part of my convent

29:16.880 --> 29:17.440
experience.

29:17.760 --> 29:21.380
But here he is now, and of course I didn't
understand what it was all about.

29:21.680 --> 29:24.900
And I didn't know what in the world the
man really expected of me.

29:25.220 --> 29:28.000
And you know, I pulled from him because I
felt highly insulted.

29:28.360 --> 29:30.540
And I pulled from him and I said,
shame on you.

29:30.860 --> 29:34.380
And it made him very angry for a minute
and he said, immediately, the Mother

29:34.380 --> 29:36.880
Superior must have heard my voice because
she came out immediately.

29:37.360 --> 29:40.140
And she said, oh, and they called me by my
church name.

29:40.140 --> 29:43.640
She said, after you've been in the convent
a little while, you won't feel this way.

29:43.940 --> 29:46.020
The rest of us felt the same way you do.

29:46.320 --> 29:48.260
And you know, the priest's body is
sanctified.

29:48.760 --> 29:52.560
And therefore, it is not a sin for us to
give the priest our bodies.

29:52.860 --> 29:55.120
In other words, they teach every little
nun this.

29:55.480 --> 29:59.680
As the Holy Ghost placed the germ in
Mary's womb, and Jesus Christ was born,

30:00.000 --> 30:03.940
so the priest is the Holy Ghost,
and therefore it isn't a sin for us to

30:03.940 --> 30:04.780
bury his children.

30:05.300 --> 30:07.960
And let me tell you, that's what they come
to the convent for.

30:07.960 --> 30:12.280
No other purpose in all of this world do
priests come into the convent but to rob

30:12.280 --> 30:14.040
those precious little girls of their
virtue.

30:14.560 --> 30:17.760
And I'll assure you, we'll be telling you
a little later in the testimony just what

30:17.760 --> 30:22.940
they really do after they come in under
those particular deals.

30:23.160 --> 30:26.600
But may I say, now every bridge has been
burned out from under me.

30:26.800 --> 30:27.760
There's no way back.

30:27.940 --> 30:30.160
I can't get out of the convent even though
I pled.

30:30.560 --> 30:32.040
Oh, how I pled with that priest.

30:32.360 --> 30:33.280
Sin for my Father.

30:33.640 --> 30:34.600
I want to go home.

30:34.980 --> 30:36.120
I don't want to go any farther.

30:36.120 --> 30:41.220
And let me tell you, that's when you stand
alone, and you don't know who to turn to,

30:41.580 --> 30:45.500
and you're a victim of circumstances,
and you live in the convent because there

30:45.500 --> 30:47.740
is no other way to get out of the convent.

30:48.040 --> 30:51.840
And I'll assure you, I stayed in the
convent until God made a way for me to

30:51.840 --> 30:52.260
come out.

30:52.580 --> 30:55.160
And so after all of this, my mail will
stop.

30:55.460 --> 30:58.280
I'll never receive another bit of mail
from my family.

30:58.560 --> 30:59.600
Never another letter.

30:59.700 --> 31:01.200
I belong to the Pope.

31:01.300 --> 31:02.260
I belong to Rome.

31:02.260 --> 31:06.620
And then after all of this, the Mother
Superior, after taking these particular

31:06.620 --> 31:10.860
vows, and the priest has invited me to go
to the bridal chamber, you say,

31:10.920 --> 31:11.340
did you go?

31:11.480 --> 31:13.120
No, definitely not.

31:13.200 --> 31:15.280
I didn't enter the convent to be a bad
woman.

31:15.800 --> 31:18.840
It would have been much easier to have
stayed out of the convent to be a bad

31:18.840 --> 31:19.100
woman.

31:19.640 --> 31:24.520
You wouldn't go into the convent and live
in the poverty we live in, and to suffer

31:24.520 --> 31:26.120
as we suffer to be a bad woman.

31:26.480 --> 31:27.840
No girl would do that.

31:28.140 --> 31:30.900
And it would have been much easier to have
stayed out of the convent if I wanted to

31:30.900 --> 31:31.540
be a bad woman.

31:31.540 --> 31:36.300
But I went there to give my life and heart
to God, and that was the only purpose I

31:36.300 --> 31:37.240
had in going there.

31:37.640 --> 31:40.600
And here this priest is, and of course I
didn't go to the bridal chamber with him.

31:40.840 --> 31:42.140
I had a strong body then.

31:42.560 --> 31:45.960
One of us would have been wounded because
I would have fought until the last drop of

31:45.960 --> 31:46.280
blood.

31:46.700 --> 31:49.300
And you know, it made them very,
very angry, I'll assure you.

31:49.540 --> 31:51.760
But I didn't go to the bridal chamber with
him.

31:52.060 --> 31:56.000
But now I'm going to have to go to penance
the next morning, and of course this will

31:56.000 --> 31:58.600
be a heavier penance because of what I've
done already.

31:58.600 --> 32:01.920
And when the Mother Superior says we're
going to do penance the next morning,

32:02.320 --> 32:04.600
I'm going to be initiated as a Carmelite
nun.

32:05.040 --> 32:08.100
And I remember when she walked me down
into that particular place.

32:08.500 --> 32:09.480
It was a dark room.

32:09.700 --> 32:13.020
I remember I lived above on the first
floor until my black veil.

32:13.340 --> 32:15.820
After the black veil they take me one
story under the ground.

32:16.200 --> 32:19.100
And I lived from there on until God
delivered me under the ground.

32:19.300 --> 32:21.980
I didn't live in the top part of the
buildings at all.

32:21.980 --> 32:25.940
But you know, as we walked into this room,
it's dark, and it's very cold.

32:26.360 --> 32:28.900
And when we walked in, we came from back
there somewhere.

32:29.300 --> 32:32.620
We come walking toward the front,
and I walked along beside the Mother

32:32.620 --> 32:32.980
Superior.

32:33.080 --> 32:35.620
And when I got near the front,
I saw those little candles burning.

32:36.120 --> 32:38.920
Anywhere in the convent you'll find the
seven candles burning.

32:39.320 --> 32:42.520
And when I came a little closer,
I saw the candles, but I couldn't see

32:42.520 --> 32:43.220
anything else.

32:43.220 --> 32:45.020
And I wondered, what's she going to do to
me?

32:45.380 --> 32:48.360
That's the thing in our hearts,
and we can't get away from it because we

32:48.360 --> 32:48.840
have fear.

32:48.840 --> 32:53.160
And when I come a little closer,
I saw something lying on a board there.

32:53.540 --> 32:57.440
And you know, when I came real close,
then I realized, here's a little nun lying

32:57.440 --> 32:58.060
on that board.

32:58.140 --> 33:00.300
I call it a cooling board because it was
there.

33:00.700 --> 33:03.420
And just as long as her body, and there
she was.

33:03.480 --> 33:06.960
And when I could see where the candles
flickered down on her face, I realized

33:06.960 --> 33:07.880
that child is dead.

33:08.240 --> 33:10.840
And oh, I wanted so much to say,
how did she die?

33:11.160 --> 33:12.140
Why is she here?

33:12.340 --> 33:13.640
How long do you keep her here?

33:13.700 --> 33:15.720
But you remember, I signed away every
human right.

33:15.720 --> 33:18.740
And so I can't say one word, but I stood
looking.

33:19.220 --> 33:22.920
Then the Mother Superior said,
you stand vigil over this dead body for

33:22.920 --> 33:23.720
one hour.

33:24.240 --> 33:27.520
And at the end of the hour, a little bell
is tapped and another nun will come to

33:27.520 --> 33:28.060
relieve me.

33:29.160 --> 33:33.240
And may I say, I was advised every so many
minutes, I have to walk out in the front

33:33.240 --> 33:36.820
of that little body and sprinkle holy
water and ashes over the body and say,

33:36.900 --> 33:37.880
peace be unto you.

33:37.880 --> 33:40.380
And I did exactly what they told me to do.

33:40.760 --> 33:42.080
Oh, it was a terrible feeling.

33:42.320 --> 33:43.560
I'm not afraid of the dead.

33:43.660 --> 33:45.920
It's the life, people, we have to be very
cautious about.

33:46.340 --> 33:49.340
And I wasn't afraid of that little dead
nun, but oh, my heart ached for her.

33:49.720 --> 33:54.040
And you know, after the bell tapped and I
realized my hour is gone, the nun who

33:54.040 --> 33:55.980
comes to relieve us comes back here
somewhere.

33:56.560 --> 33:58.320
And she, of course, we walk on our
tiptoes.

33:58.400 --> 33:59.960
No noise is made in the convent.

34:00.320 --> 34:02.360
And when they don't speak, they just touch
you.

34:02.360 --> 34:05.740
And of course, my being down there with
that little dead nun and I was full of

34:05.740 --> 34:10.260
fear, when that girl laid a hand on my
shoulder, I let out a scream, a horrible

34:10.260 --> 34:12.600
scream, from fear, just fear.

34:12.920 --> 34:15.240
And you know, I didn't mean to do it.

34:15.460 --> 34:17.960
I didn't break that rule on purpose,
but I was scared.

34:18.340 --> 34:21.080
And immediately, of course, I had to come
before the Mother Superior.

34:21.600 --> 34:24.460
And that's when I first learned,
you know, one of the first times,

34:24.700 --> 34:25.500
about a dungeon.

34:25.900 --> 34:28.080
They didn't tell me there were dungeons in
the convent.

34:28.080 --> 34:31.740
And she put me in such a dirty,
dark place with no floor in it for three

34:31.740 --> 34:34.480
days and nights, and I didn't get any food
and any water.

34:34.880 --> 34:36.620
And I'll assure you, I didn't scream
anymore.

34:36.760 --> 34:40.340
I tried so hard not to break the rules of
screaming, because there is a dungeon and

34:40.340 --> 34:41.480
I know they'll put you in it.

34:41.720 --> 34:44.160
And let me tell you right now,
it's not a nice place to be.

34:44.380 --> 34:47.040
After you've been in one of those places,
you'll know what it feels like.

34:47.040 --> 34:52.680
All right now, I say this before I go any
farther, that potpourri is a masterpiece

34:52.680 --> 34:53.380
of Satan.

34:53.680 --> 34:58.360
I said it's a masterpiece of Satan,
with its lying wonders and its traditions

34:58.360 --> 34:59.640
and its deception.

35:00.020 --> 35:02.080
It's a terrible thing when you know about
it.

35:02.400 --> 35:07.720
And so, as I come down into this room and
she took me, let me look at this little

35:07.720 --> 35:10.160
girl, and that particular, if we call it a
penis, is over.

35:10.160 --> 35:14.460
Now, the very next morning, she said again
to me, Charlotte, you're going to do

35:14.460 --> 35:14.660
penis.

35:14.700 --> 35:17.740
Not the next morning, it was three days
after, because I spent three days and

35:17.740 --> 35:18.440
nights in the dungeon.

35:18.860 --> 35:22.300
The next, third, fourth, fifth morning,
whichever it was, she said, you're going

35:22.300 --> 35:22.800
to do penis.

35:23.180 --> 35:26.340
She took me down into another room,
not the same room.

35:26.580 --> 35:29.920
And when we come walking down this time,
I could see that big piece of wood,

35:29.980 --> 35:31.020
but I didn't know what it was.

35:31.200 --> 35:33.280
And when I came a little closer,
there was a cross.

35:33.280 --> 35:34.880
It was made of heavy timber.

35:35.360 --> 35:38.040
I might say it was maybe eight or ten feet
high.

35:38.340 --> 35:38.980
Very heavy.

35:39.380 --> 35:41.600
And that cross was sitting on an incline
like that.

35:41.820 --> 35:45.840
And she had me walk over here at the base
of the cross, and she said, now strip your

35:45.840 --> 35:46.480
clothes off.

35:46.520 --> 35:47.800
And I took my clothes off.

35:48.120 --> 35:51.940
And then she made me, down to my
waistline, then she made me drape my body

35:51.940 --> 35:55.900
over the foot of that cross, and she
pulled my hands underneath and bound them

35:55.900 --> 35:56.580
to my feet.

35:57.060 --> 36:00.160
And then, you know, that's where I'm going
to spill my blood.

36:00.660 --> 36:04.320
And she had not told me how, and neither
could I ask how I would spill it.

36:04.620 --> 36:07.860
And she gave two little nuns that came
with her a flagellation whip.

36:08.480 --> 36:10.240
I might call it a bamboo pole.

36:10.320 --> 36:11.160
It's about this long.

36:11.220 --> 36:12.240
It's about that big around.

36:12.660 --> 36:14.780
And it has six straps on it, about this
long.

36:15.040 --> 36:18.340
And on the end of either of those straps,
there's a cross piece of sharp metal.

36:18.340 --> 36:23.360
And those little nuns, either was given
one of these whips, and they stood on

36:23.360 --> 36:24.420
either side of the cross.

36:24.560 --> 36:27.820
Now, at the same time, those girls began
whipping my body.

36:28.220 --> 36:32.080
And I mean when that metal hit my body,
it would break the hide, of course.

36:32.400 --> 36:34.960
It would cut into the flesh, and I spill
blood.

36:35.220 --> 36:36.760
And it was running down to the floor.

36:36.860 --> 36:38.980
That's my flagellation whip, uh,
whipping.

36:39.280 --> 36:41.680
That is where I spill my blood,
as Jesus said.

36:41.720 --> 36:42.640
He is upon Calvary.

36:42.980 --> 36:44.200
And, of course, I'm human.

36:44.340 --> 36:44.900
It wounded.

36:45.060 --> 36:45.540
It hurt.

36:45.820 --> 36:46.800
It was very painful.

36:46.800 --> 36:49.240
After the whipping is over, they don't
bathe my body.

36:49.520 --> 36:53.460
They put my clothing back up on my body,
and I have to go the rest of the day.

36:53.780 --> 36:58.460
When the night comes, and I stand in front
of my cell there, I, after we have to

36:58.460 --> 37:01.680
stand there too undressed with our backs
to each other, then when I went in,

37:01.780 --> 37:03.520
oh, I couldn't sleep that night.

37:03.980 --> 37:07.460
I just wasn't a bit sleepy because I
couldn't take off all my clothes.

37:07.780 --> 37:10.160
They had dried in those wounds,
and it was terrible.

37:10.480 --> 37:11.980
I didn't take them off for several nights.

37:11.980 --> 37:16.860
And I'll assure you, when I came before,
my food, I didn't want my cup of black

37:16.860 --> 37:17.200
coffee.

37:17.520 --> 37:19.600
In the morning, we get a cup of black
coffee.

37:19.680 --> 37:23.220
They serve it with a tin cup, and we can
have no milk or no sugar of any type in

37:23.220 --> 37:23.360
it.

37:23.580 --> 37:25.000
And we have one slice of bread.

37:25.080 --> 37:26.460
That's made for the nuns of the cloister.

37:26.580 --> 37:27.020
They weigh it.

37:27.100 --> 37:28.000
It weighs four ounces.

37:28.400 --> 37:29.640
That's all I get for breakfast.

37:30.100 --> 37:32.720
And then, of course, in the evening,
I get a bowl of soup, and that's fresh

37:32.720 --> 37:33.820
vegetables cooked together.

37:34.120 --> 37:35.860
There's no seasoning in the soup
whatsoever.

37:36.080 --> 37:39.020
And a half a slice of bread, and three
times a week, they give me a half a glass

37:39.020 --> 37:39.680
of skim milk.

37:39.680 --> 37:44.060
That consists of my food 365 days in the
year.

37:44.460 --> 37:47.820
And I began losing weight very rapidly,
I'll assure you, because I didn't have

37:47.820 --> 37:48.640
enough food to eat.

37:48.940 --> 37:52.160
I don't know the day that I went to bed
without a hungry stomach.

37:52.580 --> 37:55.160
Sometimes it would be so hungry,
I couldn't sleep.

37:55.260 --> 37:56.360
The pain was gnawing.

37:56.660 --> 37:57.900
You can't hardly stand it.

37:58.140 --> 38:00.940
And, you know, you're only going to get
that one slice of bread the next morning.

38:01.020 --> 38:02.080
That doesn't fill you up.

38:02.280 --> 38:04.280
And, of course, we have to work hard all
day long.

38:04.280 --> 38:08.040
And I'll assure you, those little nuns,
as I covet your prayers for them,

38:08.100 --> 38:11.820
they need your prayers in more ways than
one, because you'll go to bed with a full

38:11.820 --> 38:12.600
stomach tonight.

38:12.820 --> 38:14.360
And you're very comfortable right now.

38:14.420 --> 38:16.700
But I'll assure you, there's not one of
them that's comfortable.

38:17.080 --> 38:20.240
They're hungry, and they're sick,
and they're wounded, and they're hurt,

38:20.480 --> 38:25.040
and they're heart sick, and home sick,
and discouraged, and worst of all,

38:25.080 --> 38:26.400
seemingly, they have no hope.

38:27.120 --> 38:27.920
No hope.

38:28.120 --> 38:31.280
You and I are looking forward to the day
when we're going to see Jesus.

38:31.280 --> 38:36.340
They have no hope whatsoever, and I surely
hope you don't forget to pray for them.

38:36.660 --> 38:38.920
All right, that was terrible, I'll assure
you.

38:39.300 --> 38:42.460
And then in a few mornings after this,
the Mother Spirit's taking me back for

38:42.460 --> 38:43.180
another initiation.

38:43.800 --> 38:47.320
And when I go into the appendix chamber
this morning, we come from a place up

38:47.320 --> 38:50.940
here, and we're going to walk back along
the... like that, through to the back.

38:51.300 --> 38:54.040
And, you know, it was quite a ways back
there, and I went through Pasha.

38:54.200 --> 38:55.000
Part of it's a tunnel.

38:55.000 --> 38:58.260
And then I come out into a room,
and I'll walk through that room,

38:58.340 --> 39:01.220
and when I get way back there,
I see those candles burning.

39:01.640 --> 39:02.820
And I see something else.

39:02.920 --> 39:05.540
There's ropes hanging down from the
ceiling, and oh, I'm so scared.

39:05.940 --> 39:09.340
I wonder what the ropes are for,
and what's she going to do after these two

39:09.340 --> 39:12.380
penances you began to have a lot of fear
in your heart.

39:12.600 --> 39:16.400
And so I can't say anything, and I walk
back there, and you know, I saw the ropes,

39:16.520 --> 39:19.260
then real plain, what they're doing
hanging down from that ceiling.

39:19.260 --> 39:23.120
Then she tells me, you go over there
against the wall, about that close from

39:23.120 --> 39:25.080
the wall, and I have to stand sideways
like this.

39:25.140 --> 39:28.140
Then she asked me to put up both of my
thumbs, and I did.

39:28.540 --> 39:32.220
And then she pulled one rope down,
and there's a metal band fastened

39:32.220 --> 39:34.800
securely, and she fastens that around the
joint of my thumb.

39:35.120 --> 39:37.660
Then the other one comes down,
and it fastens around this thumb.

39:38.000 --> 39:40.180
And there I'm standing like this,
facing the wall.

39:40.460 --> 39:44.600
And then, you know, she comes over here to
the end, and there's a... whatever you

39:44.600 --> 39:45.060
want to call it.

39:45.060 --> 39:49.020
And she starts winding, and I start
moving, and she's taking me right up in

39:49.020 --> 39:49.480
the air.

39:49.860 --> 39:54.300
And you know, when she gets me so just my
toes are on the floor, just on my tiptoes,

39:54.520 --> 39:55.440
she fastens it.

39:55.760 --> 40:00.140
And there I hang, and all the weight of my
body is on my thumbs and on my toes.

40:00.440 --> 40:01.540
Not a word is said.

40:01.640 --> 40:02.880
No one speaks a word.

40:03.180 --> 40:05.180
And she walks out of that room and locks
the door.

40:05.640 --> 40:09.800
If you know what it means to hear a key
locking a door, and know that I'm strung

40:09.800 --> 40:12.620
up there like that, you'll never know
unless you're a nun.

40:12.620 --> 40:16.460
And when that woman walked out,
I didn't know how long I'll stay there.

40:16.820 --> 40:18.540
How long that woman will leave me there.

40:18.860 --> 40:20.700
And you know, they didn't come to give me
food.

40:20.820 --> 40:21.700
They brought me no water.

40:22.060 --> 40:23.300
And I thought, is this it?

40:23.680 --> 40:25.940
Am I going to die back here just like
this?

40:26.280 --> 40:29.620
And within a few hours, you can imagine,
I'm still a human being.

40:29.920 --> 40:32.020
My muscles began to scream out with the
pain.

40:32.120 --> 40:32.980
I was suffering.

40:33.340 --> 40:35.660
And that woman let me hang, and nobody
come near.

40:36.040 --> 40:37.940
And what good would it do for me to cry?

40:38.040 --> 40:39.440
You can spill every tear in your body.

40:39.500 --> 40:40.440
Nobody will hear you.

40:40.440 --> 40:43.200
There's no one there to care how many
tears you spill.

40:43.620 --> 40:45.140
And so I just hung there.

40:45.480 --> 40:48.900
And finally, I began to seemingly,
I felt like I couldn't stand it.

40:49.200 --> 40:51.640
I'll surely die if they don't come and get
me quickly.

40:52.040 --> 40:54.380
And I felt as if I was beginning to swell.

40:54.660 --> 40:56.220
I don't know how long went by.

40:56.560 --> 40:59.740
And she opened the door one morning,
and she had something for me to eat.

41:00.080 --> 41:01.620
And the water was in a pan.

41:02.080 --> 41:04.980
And it was potatoes, and those potatoes
were not good to eat.

41:05.260 --> 41:06.060
They were in a pan.

41:06.060 --> 41:10.020
And there's a shelf over there on the wall
that she can adjust to the height of the

41:10.020 --> 41:10.280
nun.

41:10.620 --> 41:11.760
And you know, she pulls it up.

41:11.820 --> 41:13.220
Now, I'm not against the wall.

41:13.280 --> 41:14.340
I'm about this far from it.

41:14.600 --> 41:17.460
But to get that food, she puts it there
and says, this is your food.

41:17.740 --> 41:18.760
And she walks out.

41:19.080 --> 41:20.240
Now, how am I going to get it?

41:20.300 --> 41:23.860
She didn't let my hands down, but I,
I, this is what you'll learn.

41:24.380 --> 41:25.900
And you'll struggle to get it.

41:25.940 --> 41:26.660
I'm hungry.

41:27.060 --> 41:29.440
I mean, I'm so thirsty, I feel like I'm
going mad.

41:29.860 --> 41:33.780
And to get it, I discovered that this hand
goes high, and this one will come down a

41:33.780 --> 41:34.080
little bit.

41:34.080 --> 41:36.440
And that will keep right on going higher
as I lean.

41:36.720 --> 41:38.180
I have to reach higher with this one.

41:38.440 --> 41:40.100
This one will automatically let down.

41:40.440 --> 41:45.280
And to get that water and that food,
I mean, I had to get it like the dogs and

41:45.280 --> 41:45.560
cats.

41:45.920 --> 41:49.000
And I lapped as much of it as I could
because I'm so thirsty.

41:49.400 --> 41:52.700
And get those potatoes, I tried as hard as
I could because I'm hungry.

41:53.020 --> 41:54.120
I mean, I'm hungry.

41:54.420 --> 41:56.480
And I got as much of it as I could,
naturally.

41:56.780 --> 41:57.540
But I was hungry.

41:57.800 --> 42:01.120
That's the way she fed me for a while,
and then she released the bonds on my

42:01.120 --> 42:02.240
hands and on my feet.

42:03.500 --> 42:06.160
And I tell you, then I shouldn't have said
on my feet.

42:06.440 --> 42:07.560
She didn't release the bonds.

42:07.840 --> 42:10.460
She let me hang there for nine days and
nine nights.

42:10.760 --> 42:14.040
I'm getting almost got it mixed up with
one of the other penances that I want to

42:14.040 --> 42:14.500
give to you.

42:14.760 --> 42:17.220
I hung nine days and nine nights in this
position.

42:17.600 --> 42:22.360
And may I say, at the time come when I was
swollen here, I naturally, I could see

42:22.360 --> 42:23.600
myself puffing out here.

42:23.800 --> 42:26.000
I felt like my eyes were coming out of my
head.

42:26.280 --> 42:29.000
I felt like my arms were part,
I could see them right there.

42:29.000 --> 42:31.840
They were two or three size, their normal
size.

42:32.100 --> 42:34.200
I felt like I was that way all over my
body.

42:34.520 --> 42:37.060
And I was like a boil, I was in real
suffering.

42:37.520 --> 42:41.180
And then on the ninth day, she comes in
and she releases the bonds from my hands

42:41.180 --> 42:43.760
and my body and lets me down on the floor.

42:44.120 --> 42:45.720
Now I go down, I can't walk.

42:45.820 --> 42:46.840
I'll assure you I didn't walk.

42:47.040 --> 42:48.700
I didn't walk for a long time.

42:48.960 --> 42:49.580
But you know what?

42:49.640 --> 42:51.260
There's two little nuns that carry me out.

42:51.360 --> 42:53.280
One gets under my feet and the other under
my shoulders.

42:53.640 --> 42:56.320
And they carry me in the infirmary and lay
me on a slab of wood.

42:56.320 --> 42:58.380
And there they cut the clothing for my
body.

42:58.500 --> 43:02.380
And let me tell you right now,
nobody but God will ever know I'm covered

43:02.380 --> 43:03.440
with vermin and filth.

43:03.720 --> 43:06.000
Why, I'm hanging there in my own human
filth.

43:06.200 --> 43:07.760
There are no toilet facilities.

43:08.180 --> 43:09.700
Right behind me is a stool.

43:10.020 --> 43:13.220
They have running water in it and the lid
is down and they have sharp nails driven

43:13.220 --> 43:13.920
through that lid.

43:14.240 --> 43:17.220
If I break my ropes and fall on that,
I would suffer terribly.

43:17.600 --> 43:20.840
And this is the life of a little nun
behind clustered doors.

43:21.120 --> 43:25.040
After they've already deceived us,
disillusioned us, and got us back there.

43:25.040 --> 43:26.620
But then, this is the life that we're
living.

43:26.920 --> 43:28.980
And these are the things that we're going
to have to do.

43:29.280 --> 43:31.120
And I'll assure you, it isn't anything
funny.

43:31.480 --> 43:33.780
And then I remember as I lived on in that
place.

43:34.080 --> 43:37.620
Oh, let me tell you, in the morning,
we have to get up out of our beds at 4.30

43:37.620 --> 43:38.160
in the morning.

43:38.520 --> 43:42.060
The Mother Superior talks about taps of
bail and that means five minutes to dress.

43:42.460 --> 43:44.920
And may I say to you folk, it's not five
and a half minutes.

43:45.160 --> 43:47.140
You better get that clothing on in five
minutes.

43:47.560 --> 43:50.820
And I failed one time and I had to be
punished severely, but I never failed

43:50.820 --> 43:52.460
again in all the years in the convent.

43:52.460 --> 43:55.460
And you know when we are finished
dressing, then we're going to start

43:55.460 --> 43:55.840
marching.

43:55.960 --> 43:57.260
And we march by the Mother Superior.

43:57.780 --> 44:00.620
And that Mother Superior is going to
appoint us to an office duty every

44:00.620 --> 44:00.980
morning.

44:01.360 --> 44:04.560
I might be scrubbing, it might be ironing,
it might be washing, it might be doing

44:04.560 --> 44:05.360
some hard work.

44:05.520 --> 44:06.720
But I have to work one hour.

44:07.020 --> 44:10.160
Then we'll go in and gather around the
table and we'll find sitting in front of

44:10.160 --> 44:13.540
us our tin cup full of coffee and our
slice of bread.

44:14.000 --> 44:15.520
And then of course we have hard work to
do.

44:15.620 --> 44:19.020
We have, I think there was 12 tubs in the
convent that I lived in.

44:19.280 --> 44:21.480
And we wash on the old-fashioned
washboard.

44:21.480 --> 44:24.160
We have the old sat-iron that you heat on
the stove.

44:24.540 --> 44:28.300
And you know it wouldn't be so bad if we
just had our own clothing in the convent.

44:28.480 --> 44:31.740
But the priests bring great bundles of
clothing and put them in there because it

44:31.740 --> 44:32.700
can get them done for nothing.

44:33.020 --> 44:35.080
And we have to do that clothing on top of
it.

44:35.280 --> 44:36.880
We work very, very hard.

44:36.920 --> 44:40.200
And they're not able to work because they
don't have enough food to keep body,

44:40.380 --> 44:41.260
mind, and soul together.

44:41.560 --> 44:44.380
And those little girls are living under
these particular circumstances.

44:44.560 --> 44:47.660
Well, I say we're women without a country.

44:48.080 --> 44:51.320
And I mean just exactly what I say,
women without a country.

44:52.120 --> 44:53.540
Now we belong to the Pope.

44:53.760 --> 44:56.260
Anything they want to inflict upon my
body, they can do it.

44:56.600 --> 45:00.040
And all the howling I do, if I should
howl, it wouldn't make any difference

45:00.040 --> 45:01.420
because nobody's going to hear me.

45:01.880 --> 45:04.800
And they have no idea that I'll ever leave
the convent.

45:05.240 --> 45:07.480
The plan is I'll die there and be buried
there.

45:07.940 --> 45:10.000
Now you say, Charlotte, can you go into
the convent?

45:10.560 --> 45:14.480
Any one of you folk can go into an open
order convent, or I mean a closed convent,

45:14.560 --> 45:15.380
into the speak room.

45:15.940 --> 45:20.180
And there is an outside chapel that you
can walk into of any that I know anything

45:20.180 --> 45:20.600
about.

45:21.780 --> 45:25.160
But you know, don't you just go in there
and wander around to have some place to

45:25.160 --> 45:25.420
go.

45:25.880 --> 45:27.860
Because you might meet something you're
not expecting.

45:28.300 --> 45:33.220
If you go in there, you go prepared to
take food to some little girl that's in

45:33.220 --> 45:33.500
there.

45:33.700 --> 45:35.640
And be sure that you know who you're
taking it to.

45:36.100 --> 45:39.480
And when you go, as you walk up toward the
front of the building like this,

45:39.780 --> 45:40.680
you'll see a bell.

45:41.100 --> 45:42.880
And you'll know what to do because it'll
tell you.

45:43.120 --> 45:46.080
And you press a button there and there'll
be a gate swing out.

45:46.140 --> 45:47.880
It has about three shelves on it.

45:47.880 --> 45:51.500
And of course you've brought something for
someone that you know in the convent.

45:51.960 --> 45:53.800
It might be the mother coming to visit her
daughter.

45:54.260 --> 45:57.820
And you know, when that bell is tapped,
the Mother Superior is back here behind a

45:57.820 --> 45:58.480
big black rail.

45:58.760 --> 46:02.580
Now that's a big iron gate there,
and there's heavy folds of black material

46:02.580 --> 46:03.520
clear across there.

46:03.900 --> 46:05.120
And you can't go back there.

46:05.400 --> 46:08.100
You'll never see the Mother Superior,
but she'll answer you through the black

46:08.100 --> 46:08.400
rail.

46:08.780 --> 46:12.080
And you might say, I brought some homemade
candy for my daughter.

46:12.380 --> 46:14.920
And you might ask the Mother Superior to
let you speak to her.

46:15.120 --> 46:16.780
You can't see her, but you could speak to
her.

46:16.780 --> 46:20.820
You know, the mother will call that lovely
little girl and call her out on the other

46:20.820 --> 46:21.440
side of the rail.

46:21.480 --> 46:22.540
Of course you can't see her.

46:22.860 --> 46:23.580
And you know what?

46:23.620 --> 46:26.760
The mother will speak to her and say,
honey, are you happy here?

46:26.820 --> 46:29.000
And that little nun will say, Mother,
I'm very happy.

46:29.360 --> 46:30.660
You say, why did she say that?

46:30.940 --> 46:33.780
Well, bless your heart, don't you know the
Mother Superior is standing there?

46:34.080 --> 46:38.060
And if we didn't say that after our mother
is gone, then only God knows what the

46:38.060 --> 46:39.700
Mother Superior will do to the little nun.

46:39.980 --> 46:41.640
And so we must lie to our mother.

46:41.980 --> 46:45.020
And then the mother will say, do you have
plenty to eat?

46:45.020 --> 46:48.320
And that little nun will answer and say,
we have plenty to eat.

46:48.640 --> 46:50.520
But I'll tell you, that mother will go
home.

46:50.760 --> 46:52.980
She'll prepare a lovely meal for the rest
of the family.

46:53.260 --> 46:57.320
But if she could look in and see our table
and see what her little girl is eating.

46:57.660 --> 47:01.220
If she could look into her little girl's
eyes after she's been there through four

47:01.220 --> 47:01.600
years.

47:03.880 --> 47:05.720
Maybe Jesus in there is the crucifix.

47:05.960 --> 47:07.300
And then we have a prayer board.

47:07.640 --> 47:10.860
And by the way, I'll assure you folk that
you'll never want to kneel on our prayer

47:10.860 --> 47:11.060
board.

47:11.120 --> 47:14.620
We kneel on it every day if we are able to
walk under our own power.

47:14.620 --> 47:17.420
It is a board about this height from the
ground.

47:17.760 --> 47:19.060
And there are two leading up like this
one.

47:19.080 --> 47:20.300
And this one is about that wide.

47:20.400 --> 47:21.820
I'm going to drop my knees down on it.

47:22.080 --> 47:24.140
And there are sharp wires coming up
through that board.

47:24.500 --> 47:26.580
And then this one up here I prostrate my
arms on.

47:26.640 --> 47:27.720
There's going to be sharp wires.

47:28.100 --> 47:30.060
After all, I told you we were going to
suffer.

47:30.380 --> 47:31.360
We were going to do penance.

47:31.400 --> 47:32.700
And this is a part of my suffering.

47:33.100 --> 47:36.000
And as I kneel on that prayer board,
I'm praying for lost humanity.

47:36.340 --> 47:39.900
And I'm believing as I suffer that my
grandmother will be released from a

47:39.900 --> 47:42.480
priest's purgatory sooner because of my
suffering.

47:42.480 --> 47:44.500
And I'll kneel there longer sometimes.

47:44.920 --> 47:46.780
Oh, it's terrible, but we don't know any
better.

47:46.860 --> 47:49.280
So we do that because that's all that
little nun does know.

47:49.580 --> 47:50.360
And we believe it.

47:50.580 --> 47:51.280
And there we are.

47:51.360 --> 47:52.740
And we are locked in our cells.

47:53.060 --> 47:54.980
Every night the key is turned in those
doors.

47:55.080 --> 47:56.520
We can't get up and come out of there.

47:56.800 --> 47:58.600
And then more than that, 7 minutes of 12.

47:58.660 --> 47:59.640
We go to bed at 9.30.

47:59.700 --> 48:00.280
The lights are out.

48:00.580 --> 48:01.540
7 minutes of 12.

48:01.860 --> 48:04.080
There's two little nuns appointed to
unlock every door.

48:04.400 --> 48:08.060
Every little nun again gets on her feet,
dresses in full dress, goes into the inner

48:08.060 --> 48:08.380
chapel.

48:08.460 --> 48:10.920
And there we again pray one hour for lost
humanity.

48:10.920 --> 48:13.000
We don't get very much sleep, that's why.

48:13.240 --> 48:15.740
And we don't have enough food and we work
hard and we suffer much.

48:15.920 --> 48:17.440
That's why our bodies are so broken.

48:17.780 --> 48:21.840
That's why we seemingly don't have enough
strength to carry on after we live there.

48:22.060 --> 48:25.120
But I'd like to say this to you before I
go any farther.

48:25.540 --> 48:27.080
Now I did those very things.

48:27.180 --> 48:30.280
We are taught to believe that as we spill
our own blood...

48:30.280 --> 48:31.200
Now we must do this.

48:31.200 --> 48:36.080
As I whip my body, if I torment it or
torture it in any way that I spill blood,

48:36.500 --> 48:41.460
I'm taught to believe that I'll have 100
less days to spend in purgatory.

48:41.940 --> 48:43.240
Now you know we have no hope.

48:43.640 --> 48:45.580
Those little nuns don't look forward to
anything.

48:45.720 --> 48:47.160
You may think they do, but we don't.

48:47.400 --> 48:47.660
Why?

48:47.920 --> 48:52.200
After you live in a convent 10 years,
I began to realize the Virgin Mary is just

48:52.200 --> 48:52.940
a piece of metal.

48:53.080 --> 48:53.660
She's a statue.

48:54.140 --> 48:56.400
I began to realize Saint Peter is just a
statue.

48:56.820 --> 49:00.700
I began to realize that the statue of
Jesus is just a piece of metal.

49:00.700 --> 49:04.380
In other words, we've come to the place to
believe that our God is a dead God.

49:04.720 --> 49:07.920
And I'll assure you, after you live in a
convent long enough, not at first,

49:08.020 --> 49:12.980
oh no, but after we've suffered enough,
after we've seemingly fallen down at the

49:12.980 --> 49:16.580
feet of those statues and spilled our
tears on them, and have begged them to

49:16.580 --> 49:19.780
intercede and get a prayer through to God,
and years go by without any indication

49:19.780 --> 49:20.440
whatsoever.

49:20.720 --> 49:22.300
A parent won't even know when they're
dead.

49:22.500 --> 49:24.520
So who's going to pray us out of
purgatory?

49:24.780 --> 49:26.320
Or rather, buy us out of purgatory?

49:26.760 --> 49:31.160
No, we realize after we're in there for a
period of time that there is no purgatory.

49:31.600 --> 49:33.940
And I, of course you know there isn't and
I know there isn't.

49:34.180 --> 49:35.160
And there is no purgatory.

49:35.280 --> 49:37.960
The only purgatory the Roman Catholic
people have is a priest's pocket.

49:38.240 --> 49:42.180
And they're filling his pockets with coins
in order to pray for the dead.

49:42.420 --> 49:45.620
And may I say there are thousands and
thousands of Roman Catholics.

49:45.980 --> 49:50.880
In the month of November, may I say to
you, in United States, two years ago in

49:50.880 --> 49:56.740
the month of November, the Roman Catholic
priest praying masses for the dead of the

49:56.740 --> 50:01.400
Roman Catholic people in this country,
in one month collected 22 million dollars

50:01.400 --> 50:03.800
for masses said for dead Roman Catholics.

50:04.120 --> 50:07.840
That's just a little idea, a sample of
what's going on in this country.

50:08.240 --> 50:11.860
And still there are thousands of mothers
that'll work their fingers to the bone to

50:11.860 --> 50:15.920
go over there and give the priest another
5 dollars to say a mass for a loved one

50:15.920 --> 50:17.020
that's in a purgatory.

50:17.200 --> 50:19.540
Because that mother believes there is a
purgatory.

50:19.540 --> 50:22.080
In the convent they have a painting of
purgatory.

50:22.420 --> 50:24.560
And there's nothing in the room but just
that painting.

50:24.920 --> 50:28.060
And you know, every Friday, we have to
walk around that painting.

50:28.440 --> 50:31.300
And when we walk around it, I wish you
could look at the little nun's faces.

50:31.600 --> 50:32.320
What do I see?

50:32.600 --> 50:36.240
The painting, as you would walk around it,
looks like it's a big deep hole out there.

50:36.480 --> 50:37.880
And there are people down in there.

50:38.120 --> 50:41.440
And the flames of fire is laughing around
the bodies of those people.

50:41.680 --> 50:43.700
And their hands are outstretched like
this.

50:43.980 --> 50:48.040
And the mother will say to the little nun,
you better go and put another penance on

50:48.040 --> 50:48.460
your body.

50:48.460 --> 50:51.020
Those people are begging to get out of
that fire.

50:51.440 --> 50:53.260
And because we're heathens, we don't know
any better.

50:53.620 --> 50:57.680
I might go someplace in the convent and
maybe I'll burn my body real bad.

50:57.980 --> 51:00.540
Maybe I'll torture it some way and spill
some more blood.

51:00.800 --> 51:04.340
Because as I suffer, I believe they're
going to get out of that place where a

51:04.340 --> 51:04.900
priest puts them.

51:05.220 --> 51:08.840
And there are millions of people,
so to speak, in purgatory that your priest

51:08.840 --> 51:09.520
has put there.

51:09.800 --> 51:13.120
And when he knows it is the biggest fraud
there is in the world, he knows there's

51:13.120 --> 51:14.200
not a bit of truth to it.

51:14.200 --> 51:17.800
And bless your heart, I often say you take
purgatory and mass away from the Roman

51:17.800 --> 51:18.340
Catholic Church.

51:18.420 --> 51:19.800
You'll rob her of nine-tenths of her
living.

51:20.040 --> 51:22.240
She'll starve to death if you would take
it away from her.

51:22.300 --> 51:25.940
She commercializes not only off of the
living, but off of the dead.

51:26.200 --> 51:27.460
And on and on it goes.

51:29.460 --> 51:30.060
All right.

51:30.780 --> 51:34.700
It doesn't bother our Mother Superior to
take one of those dear little girls.

51:36.720 --> 51:39.760
And may I say, you know, when the priests
come into the convent, they come as our

51:39.760 --> 51:40.520
father confessors.

51:40.580 --> 51:41.840
Once a month we go to confession.

51:42.240 --> 51:44.360
And we don't want to go, don't you worry.

51:44.700 --> 51:46.700
I many of the time have got in the very
back row.

51:47.000 --> 51:47.900
I didn't want to go in there.

51:47.960 --> 51:48.900
I know who's out there.

51:49.200 --> 51:52.340
One of them, I may not know the particular
man, but I know he's a priest.

51:52.660 --> 51:53.600
And I know those priests.

51:54.160 --> 51:55.500
I certainly have seen them enough.

51:55.740 --> 51:56.860
I've lived there long enough.

51:57.300 --> 51:59.720
I certainly have had contact with every
one of them.

51:59.920 --> 52:03.740
And I'll assure you this one thing,
I don't trust one single one of those in

52:03.740 --> 52:04.140
the convent.

52:04.200 --> 52:05.620
Now we're not telling you about every
priest.

52:05.780 --> 52:06.880
I don't know all the priests.

52:07.140 --> 52:10.140
I'm just talking about the convent in my
personal testimony of convent life.

52:10.140 --> 52:13.080
And you know, we know something about
what's out in that room.

52:13.380 --> 52:15.640
And here we are, we know we're going to
confession today.

52:15.860 --> 52:17.200
It may take all day long.

52:17.400 --> 52:18.240
And here he comes.

52:18.600 --> 52:22.700
And I have never seen a Roman Catholic
priest come into the convent that I was in

52:22.700 --> 52:25.820
without intoxicating liquor under his
belt.

52:26.140 --> 52:30.120
And I say a man or a woman, regardless of
who you may be, when you get liquor under

52:30.120 --> 52:32.920
your belt, you're not a man, neither are
you a woman.

52:33.240 --> 52:34.840
You become an animal and a beast.

52:34.840 --> 52:36.740
And so we have a beast sitting out there.

52:36.840 --> 52:38.920
There's a straight back heart bottom
chair.

52:39.140 --> 52:41.520
No other furniture but the crucifix and
the Virgin Mary.

52:41.820 --> 52:44.560
But here he is sitting on that chair right
out there in the middle of that room.

52:44.900 --> 52:47.160
Now here a little girl has to walk out
there alone.

52:47.540 --> 52:49.220
And she has to kneel down.

52:49.360 --> 52:49.880
Think of it.

52:50.240 --> 52:55.020
Why bless your heart, I really sometimes,
I'm saved now, I'm out of the convent,

52:55.380 --> 52:59.820
and I now look back at that Roman Catholic
priest, and I often say, I'm sure he was a

52:59.820 --> 53:02.300
twin brother to the devil, because he's
full of sin.

53:02.720 --> 53:03.620
He's full of vice.

53:03.900 --> 53:04.820
He's full of corruption.

53:05.300 --> 53:07.180
And we go out there and kneel down at his
knees.

53:07.300 --> 53:10.880
Now you're a lucky girl if you get away
from that man without being destroyed.

53:11.140 --> 53:11.360
Why?

53:11.440 --> 53:11.940
He's drunk.

53:12.240 --> 53:12.800
He's a beast.

53:12.880 --> 53:13.600
He's not a man.

53:13.800 --> 53:15.160
Oh, he has a holy habit on.

53:15.480 --> 53:17.280
He's an ordained Roman Catholic priest.

53:17.640 --> 53:21.280
And so I'll assure you, we don't like to
go to confession, but we must go once a

53:21.280 --> 53:21.520
month.

53:21.520 --> 53:25.760
Those little girls can't help themselves,
and nobody comes out into that room but

53:25.760 --> 53:29.700
the priest and I until it's all over,
and then we can come back, and the next

53:29.700 --> 53:30.640
one will have to come.

53:30.960 --> 53:32.800
And I'll assure you, we don't appreciate
that day.

53:33.140 --> 53:34.700
And those little girls don't know any
better.

53:35.040 --> 53:37.060
They don't know anything about the plan of
salvation.

53:37.160 --> 53:39.900
They don't know that Jesus went to Calvary
and died for them.

53:40.120 --> 53:42.480
They don't know that he shed his blood for
them.

53:42.800 --> 53:46.440
Those little girls know nothing about it,
because to me, as I repeat again,

53:46.640 --> 53:49.100
the Bible was a hidden book to every one
of those little girls.

53:49.100 --> 53:51.800
And so now they can do things like this.

53:52.080 --> 53:55.880
Now if a Roman Catholic priest comes into
the convent, he may go to the Mother

53:55.880 --> 54:00.340
Superior and ask her to permit him to go
into the cell where one of the nuns are.

54:00.700 --> 54:04.780
And you know that mother with her carnal
mind and her carnal heart, and she's very

54:04.780 --> 54:08.880
hard and very carnal, and she is the
mother many times of many illegitimate

54:08.880 --> 54:09.160
children.

54:09.300 --> 54:10.140
They belong to the priest.

54:10.540 --> 54:12.620
And you know, she'll take that priest,
and he's drinking.

54:12.780 --> 54:13.360
She knows it.

54:13.540 --> 54:14.640
They bring liquor in with them.

54:14.720 --> 54:17.420
Sometimes some of the nuns will drink with
them, and the mother usually drinks with

54:17.420 --> 54:17.580
them.

54:17.580 --> 54:19.280
And it's really a terrible place.

54:19.360 --> 54:20.460
It is not a religious order.

54:20.760 --> 54:23.080
It does not live up to that name
whatsoever.

54:23.540 --> 54:25.820
But here she brings that priest into one
of our cells.

54:26.320 --> 54:28.840
Now I wonder if you realize how serious it
is.

54:29.280 --> 54:31.900
That Roman Catholic priest, he has liquor
under his belt.

54:31.980 --> 54:32.520
We know that.

54:32.820 --> 54:34.440
But he has a big, strong body.

54:34.580 --> 54:37.800
He's had three square meals of food every
day of his life.

54:38.040 --> 54:39.580
He can eat all the food that he wants.

54:39.800 --> 54:43.660
But you know, there's a little nun that
may have a broken body, and she may not

54:43.660 --> 54:44.780
have very much strength.

54:44.780 --> 54:47.680
And what did he come into that cell for?

54:47.900 --> 54:50.500
For nothing other than to destroy that
little nun.

54:50.820 --> 54:55.060
I often say, I wish the government could
walk into a convent just about the time

54:55.060 --> 54:56.660
one of those priests are let in the cell.

54:56.940 --> 54:59.480
The mother will turn a key on the lock,
and you're locked in there with that

54:59.480 --> 54:59.740
priest.

55:00.120 --> 55:02.500
Now, we have no way to defend ourselves.

55:02.860 --> 55:05.620
And I often say, I have had to nurse those
little girls.

55:05.740 --> 55:06.280
I'm an Aryan.

55:06.340 --> 55:11.420
I got my nurse's training by going through
the tunnel over to the hospital as I lived

55:11.420 --> 55:12.760
in an open order convent.

55:12.760 --> 55:17.440
But may I say, after that priest is taken
out of there, if you could look upon the

55:17.440 --> 55:20.940
body of that little nun, she looks like
something you've thrown out in a hog pen.

55:21.240 --> 55:24.120
And half a dozen old sows have just mauled
that child's body.

55:24.500 --> 55:25.960
And this is convent life.

55:26.240 --> 55:29.540
I can understand why your priests are
calling over the phone every day or two

55:29.540 --> 55:32.700
and screaming their heads off because I'm
in this city giving this testimony.

55:33.140 --> 55:36.480
But may I say to you, I don't mind if they
continue to scream.

55:36.720 --> 55:38.300
I don't mind what they do.

55:38.400 --> 55:39.700
I'm not one bit afraid of them.

55:39.700 --> 55:43.440
I'll continue to give this testimony as
long as God gives me strength,

55:43.500 --> 55:47.200
I'll be giving this testimony regardless
of your priests or your bishops in this

55:47.200 --> 55:47.520
country.

55:47.940 --> 55:49.080
I know what I'm doing.

55:49.380 --> 55:50.500
I know what I'm saying.

55:50.800 --> 55:53.300
And I'm not afraid of anybody in all of
this world.

55:53.440 --> 55:54.440
I'm a child of God.

55:54.740 --> 55:58.240
And I believe God won't let anybody put a
hand on me until my work is finished.

55:58.600 --> 56:03.080
And then I often say, I don't care what
you do to my body after I leave this body.

56:03.480 --> 56:04.480
I'm sure I don't mind.

56:04.480 --> 56:08.020
And so I will continue to give the
testimony regardless of what your priests

56:08.020 --> 56:08.620
think about it.

56:08.820 --> 56:12.140
Because I think God saved me to pull the
cover off of convent.

56:12.480 --> 56:16.600
I believe he saved me to uncloak those
places that are writing under the cloak of

56:16.600 --> 56:16.920
religion.

56:17.240 --> 56:19.920
I believe that with all of my heart,
I'll assure you I do.

56:20.800 --> 56:24.540
Now if I refuse to give my body,
you know we're just supposed to give our

56:24.540 --> 56:26.200
bodies voluntarily to those priests.

56:26.520 --> 56:28.040
Many times the nuns are overpowered.

56:28.360 --> 56:32.060
But if I refuse to give my body
voluntarily to them, then you know he

56:32.060 --> 56:33.060
becomes very angry.

56:33.060 --> 56:35.060
And he goes immediately to the Mother
Superior.

56:35.260 --> 56:39.520
Then when two carnal minds come together,
they can invent things that you and I,

56:39.740 --> 56:42.320
we don't have enough evil in our heart to
invent things like that.

56:42.620 --> 56:45.780
We don't have enough sin in our lives to
even think of such terrible things.

56:46.080 --> 56:50.240
And when those two carnal minds come
together, the next time I want you to know

56:50.240 --> 56:51.040
they're all ready.

56:51.340 --> 56:54.220
Now the Mother Superior might say to me in
a day or two, we're going to do penance.

56:54.520 --> 56:58.180
Now the penance that they'll inflict on me
is something that the Mother Superior and

56:58.180 --> 56:59.180
the priest has invented.

56:59.180 --> 57:00.960
And it can be very, very cruel.

57:01.340 --> 57:04.400
They might take me down into one of the
dirty dungeons, and there's no floors in

57:04.400 --> 57:04.960
those places.

57:05.340 --> 57:09.500
And you know they have a place down there,
there are rods about three feet long.

57:09.800 --> 57:13.000
They have them burrowed down into cement,
and at the top of it there's a ring about

57:13.000 --> 57:15.000
this big sticking out of the ground.

57:15.280 --> 57:17.180
They have some leather straps fastened
there.

57:17.520 --> 57:20.460
And when they take me down there,
they put my foot, either foot through

57:20.460 --> 57:23.540
those rings, and then they strap my ankle
securely.

57:23.900 --> 57:26.440
Now I'm standing with my feet in those
rings.

57:26.440 --> 57:28.500
All right, they're going out of there.

57:28.700 --> 57:31.180
They're going to leave me locked up in
that place by myself.

57:31.480 --> 57:32.480
And it's a dirty place.

57:32.820 --> 57:35.960
Well, I might stand there for two or three
hours if I have strength enough in my

57:35.960 --> 57:36.260
body.

57:36.520 --> 57:38.100
But what do you think is going to happen
to me then?

57:38.500 --> 57:39.660
I can't stand any longer.

57:39.760 --> 57:43.080
Sometimes we faint, sometimes we just
become exhausted and we go down.

57:43.320 --> 57:47.200
But when I go down, he flips my ankles
over like that, and I can't do anything

57:47.200 --> 57:47.700
about it.

57:47.940 --> 57:49.940
I don't have what it takes for me to get
up.

57:50.160 --> 57:53.900
I may have to lie in that position for two
or three days, and no one will come near.

57:53.900 --> 57:56.720
They won't give me a bite of food,
they won't bring me one drop of water,

57:56.980 --> 57:57.880
but I must stay there.

57:58.080 --> 58:01.380
And the next thing you feel is the bugs
crawling over my body and the mice running

58:01.380 --> 58:01.740
over me.

58:01.940 --> 58:03.280
And I still have to stay there.

58:03.540 --> 58:05.860
I can understand why they don't want me to
uncover.

58:06.120 --> 58:08.620
They don't want the world to know these
things are going on.

58:08.820 --> 58:10.380
No priest in this country wants it.

58:10.580 --> 58:14.520
And if he doesn't want the world to know
it, then they better be pretty careful

58:14.520 --> 58:17.880
that nobody ever gets out of a convent
after they've spent a few years back

58:17.880 --> 58:18.120
there.

58:18.340 --> 58:21.800
But may I say again to you, my God is
greater than all the outside forces.

58:21.800 --> 58:25.860
My God can reach his hand over into those
convents, this country, any other country,

58:26.060 --> 58:29.140
and make a way for a girl to come out and
he won't have to ask the bishop to help

58:29.140 --> 58:29.260
him.

58:29.480 --> 58:31.200
He won't have to ask the priest to help
him.

58:31.420 --> 58:33.360
But God can make a way for us to come out.

58:33.540 --> 58:34.420
I'll assure you that.

58:34.680 --> 58:35.320
Well, on it goes.

58:35.420 --> 58:39.060
Then sometimes the priests come and they
get angry at us because we refuse to stand

58:39.060 --> 58:39.960
with them voluntarily.

58:40.440 --> 58:44.760
And you know, after all, the nuns' bodies
are broken after we're there a while.

58:45.120 --> 58:48.840
And many, many of the time, to have him
strike you in the mouth is a terrible

58:48.840 --> 58:49.180
thing.

58:49.420 --> 58:50.840
I've had my front teeth knocked out.

58:50.840 --> 58:51.880
I know what it's all about.

58:52.120 --> 58:54.780
And then he'll get you down on the floor
and then kick you in the stomach.

58:55.060 --> 58:58.140
Many of those precious little girls have
babies under their heart.

58:58.380 --> 59:01.260
And it doesn't bother a priest to kick you
in the stomach with a baby under your

59:01.260 --> 59:01.500
heart.

59:01.720 --> 59:05.040
He doesn't mind the baby's going to be
killed anyway because those babies are

59:05.040 --> 59:05.760
born in the convent.

59:05.820 --> 59:09.160
Why wouldn't babies be born when you run
places like this under the cloak of

59:09.160 --> 59:09.440
religion?

59:09.560 --> 59:10.900
The world thinks it's religious orders.

59:11.240 --> 59:12.700
And there are babies born in there.

59:13.020 --> 59:14.600
And most of the babies are premature.

59:14.920 --> 59:15.940
Many of them are abnormal.

59:16.500 --> 59:19.400
Very, very seldom do we ever see a normal
baby.

59:19.400 --> 59:21.600
You say, Sister Charlotte, do you dare to
say that?

59:21.760 --> 59:23.920
I most definitely do dare to say this.

59:24.120 --> 59:25.700
And I intend to keep on saying it.

59:25.720 --> 59:25.900
Why?

59:26.120 --> 59:27.940
I've delivered those babies with these
hands.

59:28.180 --> 59:31.440
And what I've seen with my eyes and what
I've done with my hands, I just challenge

59:31.440 --> 59:33.260
the whole world to say it isn't true.

59:33.600 --> 59:36.720
And the only way they can ever prove it
isn't true, they'll have to open,

59:36.820 --> 59:39.540
if they ever serve a summons on me,
and call me into court.

59:39.600 --> 59:40.900
I'll assure you this one thing.

59:41.200 --> 59:42.360
Convents are coming open.

59:42.680 --> 59:45.320
And then the world is going to know what
convents really are.

59:45.320 --> 59:48.020
And they'll have to open them to vindicate
my testimony.

59:48.340 --> 59:50.660
Because I know what I'll do if they ever
serve a summons on me.

59:50.900 --> 59:53.560
I've been before the highest laws we have
in the United States.

59:53.780 --> 59:54.660
I know what I'm doing.

59:54.960 --> 59:56.080
I know what I can say.

59:56.300 --> 59:57.720
And I'm not one bit afraid to say it.

59:57.820 --> 59:59.240
Because I've been a part of this.

59:59.540 --> 01:00:02.860
I've been connected with this system 22
years behind convent doors.

01:00:03.160 --> 01:00:04.340
And it is a terrible thing.

01:00:04.620 --> 01:00:08.440
After when that dear little nun,
looking forward to that day when her

01:00:08.440 --> 01:00:09.680
precious baby will be born.

01:00:09.960 --> 01:00:13.140
Most of you dear mothers, oh, you have
everything ready.

01:00:13.140 --> 01:00:14.620
The beautiful nursery.

01:00:15.040 --> 01:00:16.960
All the baby's beautiful clothes are made.

01:00:17.040 --> 01:00:18.120
Everything is lovely.

01:00:18.440 --> 01:00:19.800
You're looking forward to that.

01:00:19.860 --> 01:00:23.740
Precious little immortal soul is going to
be born into your home.

01:00:24.040 --> 01:00:25.160
And everything is ready.

01:00:25.540 --> 01:00:27.320
And oh, I wish you could see that little
nun.

01:00:28.080 --> 01:00:29.540
She's not looking forward to that.

01:00:29.820 --> 01:00:31.800
There won't ever be a blanket around his
body.

01:00:32.140 --> 01:00:35.160
They'll never bathe that baby's body.

01:00:35.460 --> 01:00:37.260
But he can only live four or five hours.

01:00:37.260 --> 01:00:40.240
And then the Mother Superior will take
that baby and put her fingers in his

01:00:40.240 --> 01:00:43.220
nostrils and cover his mouth and snuff his
little life out.

01:00:43.480 --> 01:00:45.880
And why did they build the lime pit in the
convent?

01:00:46.100 --> 01:00:48.960
What is the reason for building it if it
isn't to kill the baby?

01:00:49.320 --> 01:00:52.700
And that baby will be taken into the lime
pit and chemical and lime is put over his

01:00:52.700 --> 01:00:53.000
body.

01:00:53.240 --> 01:00:54.360
And that's the end of babies.

01:00:54.720 --> 01:00:56.220
Oh, when I think about it.

01:00:56.420 --> 01:00:58.060
That's why I try to challenge people.

01:00:58.180 --> 01:00:58.400
Pray.

01:00:58.520 --> 01:01:01.100
If you know how to pray, you know how to
contact God.

01:01:01.400 --> 01:01:04.620
Pray and ask God to deliver the girls from
behind convent doors.

01:01:04.620 --> 01:01:07.980
In other words, pray that God will make a
way for every convent in the United States

01:01:07.980 --> 01:01:10.420
to be opened and let the government go in.

01:01:10.680 --> 01:01:13.380
And when the government goes in,
you won't have to worry.

01:01:13.480 --> 01:01:17.320
The convents will be opened, the nuns will
be taken out, and they'll be closed up.

01:01:17.520 --> 01:01:20.820
Just as they opened the convents in Old
Mexico in 1934.

01:01:21.120 --> 01:01:22.540
There are no convents in Old Mexico.

01:01:22.980 --> 01:01:24.220
Every cluster, it is open.

01:01:24.480 --> 01:01:26.920
And they found all of the corruption back
there, the lime pit.

01:01:27.180 --> 01:01:29.620
If any of you are taking a vacation,
go over to Old Mexico.

01:01:30.140 --> 01:01:31.400
The government owns them.

01:01:31.440 --> 01:01:32.240
They're public museums.

01:01:32.240 --> 01:01:33.620
And go through the convent.

01:01:33.880 --> 01:01:34.900
Look with your own eyes.

01:01:35.020 --> 01:01:36.060
Touch with your own hands.

01:01:36.400 --> 01:01:38.320
And then come home and see if you believe
my testimony.

01:01:38.760 --> 01:01:40.900
It'll stir every bit of red blood in your
veins.

01:01:41.160 --> 01:01:44.220
I mean, it'll do something to you that
nothing else has ever been able to do.

01:01:44.460 --> 01:01:46.320
Go through them and look at them.

01:01:46.400 --> 01:01:47.720
Go into the dungeons.

01:01:47.880 --> 01:01:48.680
Go into the tunnels.

01:01:49.040 --> 01:01:50.060
Go through the lime pit.

01:01:50.400 --> 01:01:52.740
Look at the skulls, rooms of skulls over
there.

01:01:52.980 --> 01:01:55.380
And then ask the guides of where they come
from.

01:01:55.640 --> 01:01:59.160
And go and see all of the devices of
torture they placed upon the bodies of the

01:01:59.160 --> 01:01:59.700
little nuns.

01:01:59.700 --> 01:02:03.740
Go into their cells and look at their beds
and see for yourself.

01:02:03.920 --> 01:02:04.720
Oh yes, you can go.

01:02:04.860 --> 01:02:06.900
It'll cost you 25 cents to go through each
one of them.

01:02:07.180 --> 01:02:09.760
You look at those things and see them for
yourself and then come home.

01:02:10.060 --> 01:02:13.260
And maybe it'll give you a greater burden
to pray for little girls that have been

01:02:13.260 --> 01:02:17.160
enticed behind convent doors by the
hierarchy of the Roman Catholic Church.

01:02:19.040 --> 01:02:21.940
I wonder how you would feel if this was
your child.

01:02:22.460 --> 01:02:24.960
And remember, I have a mother and daddy,
or had one.

01:02:25.700 --> 01:02:28.160
And they love me just as much as you love
your children.

01:02:28.160 --> 01:02:32.760
And when they let me go into the convent,
I'm sure my mother and daddy didn't expect

01:02:32.760 --> 01:02:34.520
these things to happen because they didn't
know.

01:02:34.960 --> 01:02:36.720
They never dreamed a convent was like
this.

01:02:37.060 --> 01:02:40.840
But you know, I wonder how you'd feel if
you could walk in some day and out there

01:02:40.840 --> 01:02:43.880
in this particular room, that floor is
built for this purpose.

01:02:44.860 --> 01:02:47.340
There's a partition right out there.

01:02:47.940 --> 01:02:50.800
And there's just a little thing they can
touch.

01:02:51.080 --> 01:02:52.400
It automatically opens.

01:02:53.400 --> 01:02:55.420
And you know, there's a deep hole
underneath that floor.

01:02:55.900 --> 01:02:57.940
And this little nun has done something.

01:02:58.340 --> 01:03:01.900
I can't tell you what she's done because I
wasn't there when she done it.

01:03:02.240 --> 01:03:03.280
But she's done something.

01:03:03.760 --> 01:03:05.060
And to them, it's very serious.

01:03:05.640 --> 01:03:08.920
And when they bring her, they bring her to
this particular place.

01:03:09.420 --> 01:03:11.580
Her little hands and feet are going to be
bound securely.

01:03:12.080 --> 01:03:15.020
They're going to drop her in that
horrible, horrible pit.

01:03:15.580 --> 01:03:17.660
And then they're going to put the boards
back down.

01:03:17.760 --> 01:03:18.720
No one will ever know.

01:03:18.800 --> 01:03:20.660
Oh, there's plenty of chemical and lime
down there.

01:03:21.000 --> 01:03:22.140
But you know, they don't do that.

01:03:22.140 --> 01:03:24.820
Six little nuns have to walk around that
hole.

01:03:25.280 --> 01:03:27.180
We'll chant as we walk around that hole.

01:03:27.620 --> 01:03:30.540
We don't want any evil spirits to come out
into the convent.

01:03:30.740 --> 01:03:32.600
So we sprinkle holy water over that hole.

01:03:33.040 --> 01:03:34.540
Then we may walk for six hours.

01:03:34.880 --> 01:03:36.580
And then they'll appoint six more nuns.

01:03:36.760 --> 01:03:39.660
And on and on it goes until we hear the
last moan.

01:03:39.920 --> 01:03:42.540
And that's the end of the little nun they
place down there.

01:03:42.840 --> 01:03:44.580
No, she'll never be delivered from the
convent.

01:03:44.920 --> 01:03:48.240
But does it bother you to know that that
little nun will die and be lost?

01:03:48.600 --> 01:03:49.480
Does that bother you?

01:03:52.140 --> 01:03:53.100
It bothers me.

01:03:53.720 --> 01:03:55.020
Because I didn't know Jesus.

01:03:55.700 --> 01:03:57.160
I couldn't tell her about God.

01:03:57.660 --> 01:03:58.640
I didn't know Him myself.

01:03:58.940 --> 01:04:00.440
But it bothers me very, very much.

01:04:00.940 --> 01:04:02.100
But God won't hold me accountable.

01:04:02.280 --> 01:04:04.740
Her blood will not be on my hands because
I didn't know the Lord.

01:04:04.980 --> 01:04:06.160
And I couldn't tell her about it.

01:04:06.500 --> 01:04:07.220
And so on it goes.

01:04:07.280 --> 01:04:08.920
And I wonder how you like to see it.

01:04:09.100 --> 01:04:09.740
Here we are.

01:04:10.080 --> 01:04:11.300
A body of those little nuns.

01:04:11.380 --> 01:04:13.820
On this particular morning, the Mother
Superior might say this.

01:04:14.380 --> 01:04:15.640
We're all going to be lined up here.

01:04:15.680 --> 01:04:17.140
And I don't know what she's lining me up
for.

01:04:17.480 --> 01:04:18.980
And then, you know, there might be ten of
us.

01:04:19.000 --> 01:04:20.080
There might be fifteen of us.

01:04:20.080 --> 01:04:21.440
And then she'd tell us all to strip.

01:04:22.020 --> 01:04:24.320
And we have to take every stitch of our
clothing off.

01:04:24.880 --> 01:04:26.900
We're certainly not anything beautiful to
look at.

01:04:27.540 --> 01:04:28.680
Our eyes are back in our head.

01:04:28.740 --> 01:04:29.560
Our cheeks are falling in.

01:04:29.600 --> 01:04:30.420
Our bodies are wasted.

01:04:31.560 --> 01:04:34.920
God only knows what we look like because I
never saw myself in twenty-two years.

01:04:35.520 --> 01:04:36.660
I didn't know I had gray hair.

01:04:37.040 --> 01:04:38.600
I didn't know I have lines in my face.

01:04:38.980 --> 01:04:40.340
I didn't know how old I was.

01:04:40.380 --> 01:04:42.140
I only found that out about six years ago.

01:04:42.620 --> 01:04:44.300
You know nothing about what you look like.

01:04:44.800 --> 01:04:45.960
And here we are lined up.

01:04:46.520 --> 01:04:49.640
And here comes two or three Roman Catholic
priests with liquor under their belt.

01:04:49.640 --> 01:04:52.200
And there they're going to march in front
of those nude girls.

01:04:52.700 --> 01:04:54.920
And choose the girl they want to take to
the cell with them.

01:04:55.660 --> 01:04:56.540
These are convents.

01:04:56.900 --> 01:04:57.780
Clustered convents.

01:04:57.920 --> 01:04:58.680
Not open orders.

01:05:00.140 --> 01:05:03.360
The priest can do anything he wants to and
hide behind the cloak of religion.

01:05:03.920 --> 01:05:07.780
Then that same Roman Catholic priest will
go back into the Roman Catholic churches.

01:05:08.280 --> 01:05:09.780
And there he'll say mass.

01:05:10.380 --> 01:05:14.220
And there he'll go into the confessional
box and make those poor people believe he

01:05:14.220 --> 01:05:16.320
can give them absolution from their sins.

01:05:16.740 --> 01:05:17.980
When he's full of sin.

01:05:17.980 --> 01:05:20.040
When he's full of corruption and vice.

01:05:20.380 --> 01:05:21.680
Still he acts as their God.

01:05:21.940 --> 01:05:23.100
What a terrible thing it is.

01:05:23.420 --> 01:05:23.920
And on it goes.

01:05:24.020 --> 01:05:24.780
Well, I live there.

01:05:25.080 --> 01:05:26.700
Now all the time these things are going
on.

01:05:26.740 --> 01:05:28.180
What do you think is happening inside of
Charlotte?

01:05:28.600 --> 01:05:29.520
God love your hearts?

01:05:29.600 --> 01:05:31.860
I didn't know people could hold so much
hatred and bitterness.

01:05:32.320 --> 01:05:33.460
And it went on and on and on.

01:05:33.540 --> 01:05:35.080
I was filled with bitterness and hatred.

01:05:35.520 --> 01:05:36.860
And I mean it continued to build.

01:05:37.880 --> 01:05:41.520
I began in my heart to think, when I can
get the Mother Superior in a certain

01:05:41.520 --> 01:05:42.560
place, I'll kill her.

01:05:43.220 --> 01:05:44.780
Isn't it awful to get murdered in a hut?

01:05:45.140 --> 01:05:47.300
I didn't go into the convent with a heart
like that.

01:05:47.300 --> 01:05:48.700
Nor a mind like that.

01:05:49.000 --> 01:05:51.040
But I began to plan murder in the convent.

01:05:51.380 --> 01:05:52.280
How I could kill her.

01:05:52.380 --> 01:05:53.940
How I could kill a Roman Catholic priest.

01:05:54.040 --> 01:05:54.960
And on and on it goes.

01:05:55.460 --> 01:05:59.020
And oh, I tell you, every time she did fix
something awful on my body that I'd have

01:05:59.020 --> 01:05:59.980
to suffer so terribly.

01:06:00.400 --> 01:06:03.460
When I could think sensibly again,
then I would begin to plan how could I

01:06:03.460 --> 01:06:04.100
kill that woman.

01:06:04.420 --> 01:06:05.060
And on it goes.

01:06:05.200 --> 01:06:06.760
Well, after all you can't help it.

01:06:06.780 --> 01:06:08.600
For instance, I wonder how you would feel.

01:06:08.980 --> 01:06:10.540
The Mother Superior, here she is.

01:06:10.800 --> 01:06:12.540
And she's going to sit me down in a chair.

01:06:12.940 --> 01:06:16.180
And you know, that chair is a straight
back, high bottom.

01:06:16.180 --> 01:06:18.360
And I don't have any hair.

01:06:18.460 --> 01:06:19.980
She's going to take everything off my
head.

01:06:20.420 --> 01:06:22.580
And you know, she's going to put my hands
like this.

01:06:22.700 --> 01:06:23.560
They'll be out here in stocks.

01:06:23.880 --> 01:06:26.640
And I'm going to have to bend my head over
like that in order to put the stocks

01:06:26.640 --> 01:06:27.400
across my neck.

01:06:27.720 --> 01:06:28.960
And I'm fastened securely.

01:06:29.380 --> 01:06:31.560
And over my head there is a faucet of
water.

01:06:31.960 --> 01:06:33.500
And you know...

01:06:33.500 --> 01:06:34.000
Sorry.

01:06:34.400 --> 01:06:36.500
There is a faucet of water just above my
head.

01:06:36.540 --> 01:06:37.200
And my head's over.

01:06:37.460 --> 01:06:39.660
Now that Mother's going to turn that water
on.

01:06:39.860 --> 01:06:40.640
Just a drop.

01:06:40.740 --> 01:06:42.860
And the drop will just come about this
fast.

01:06:43.080 --> 01:06:45.160
It'll hit me right there on the back of my
head.

01:06:45.160 --> 01:06:47.240
And you know, I can't move either way.

01:06:47.600 --> 01:06:49.980
I sat there one hour, two hours,
three hours, four hours.

01:06:50.040 --> 01:06:51.000
What do you think's going on?

01:06:51.500 --> 01:06:52.140
I'm sitting there.

01:06:52.220 --> 01:06:52.900
I can't move.

01:06:52.980 --> 01:06:56.840
I'd do everything to get away from that
drop of water in the same spot on my head.

01:06:57.280 --> 01:06:59.080
Why God love your hat if you could look
in.

01:06:59.360 --> 01:07:00.780
You'd see us frothing at the mouth.

01:07:01.120 --> 01:07:02.480
You'd see those little girls.

01:07:02.680 --> 01:07:04.460
They're trying so hard to move.

01:07:04.700 --> 01:07:05.920
To get away from that water.

01:07:06.260 --> 01:07:08.560
And they let her stay there sometimes ten
hours.

01:07:08.640 --> 01:07:09.680
All day long.

01:07:10.100 --> 01:07:12.000
Many, many times a little nun.

01:07:12.300 --> 01:07:14.180
Cracks up completely.

01:07:14.180 --> 01:07:17.560
She goes stark raving mad under this
particular penance.

01:07:17.860 --> 01:07:19.280
What in the world did they do with her?

01:07:19.520 --> 01:07:20.540
I'll tell you in a few minutes.

01:07:20.600 --> 01:07:21.260
Don't you worry.

01:07:21.520 --> 01:07:24.580
They have a place for us after we go mad
in the convent.

01:07:24.700 --> 01:07:25.540
They take care of us.

01:07:25.980 --> 01:07:27.620
They have places for the little nuns.

01:07:27.680 --> 01:07:29.200
There's places built down there for us.

01:07:29.340 --> 01:07:29.940
Well, on it goes.

01:07:30.040 --> 01:07:32.100
Well, you know, these things went on and
went on and went on.

01:07:32.420 --> 01:07:33.100
And it was terrible.

01:07:33.460 --> 01:07:35.520
But you know, I began to plan and plan and
plan.

01:07:35.820 --> 01:07:38.000
After she's done something like that to
me, it's terrible.

01:07:38.400 --> 01:07:41.440
One day, the Mother Superior took
violently ill.

01:07:41.900 --> 01:07:44.880
You say, who would take her place?

01:07:45.360 --> 01:07:48.440
There are about three, sometimes they have
four older nuns.

01:07:49.040 --> 01:07:50.800
And they always pick the one that's hard.

01:07:51.320 --> 01:07:53.220
The one that's seemingly as carnal.

01:07:53.560 --> 01:07:56.220
That one that has no conscience to be a
Mother Superior.

01:07:56.440 --> 01:07:57.560
And she works under this one.

01:07:57.860 --> 01:08:01.640
One day, if something happens to the main
Mother Superior, another one will take her

01:08:01.640 --> 01:08:02.040
place.

01:08:02.260 --> 01:08:02.960
And on it goes.

01:08:03.300 --> 01:08:06.200
But you know, this particular day,
they sent word to me.

01:08:06.520 --> 01:08:08.920
The Mother Superior, I was to come into
her room.

01:08:09.000 --> 01:08:09.780
She's very sick.

01:08:09.780 --> 01:08:14.680
And quicker than lightning, I began to
think, if I get in that Mother Superior's

01:08:14.680 --> 01:08:17.380
room, I know what I'll do.

01:08:17.760 --> 01:08:19.120
You know, after all, I'm a sinner.

01:08:19.800 --> 01:08:20.940
I'm a nun, but I'm a sinner.

01:08:21.600 --> 01:08:22.660
And I don't know God.

01:08:23.020 --> 01:08:24.440
And I have a lot of hatred in my heart.

01:08:24.800 --> 01:08:25.800
And I walk in that room.

01:08:25.920 --> 01:08:28.040
They have called in an outside Roman
Catholic doctor.

01:08:28.140 --> 01:08:29.180
She's a very sick woman.

01:08:29.680 --> 01:08:31.260
And he has left all orders.

01:08:31.640 --> 01:08:33.200
And they left the medicine and everything.

01:08:33.420 --> 01:08:34.960
Now I'm supposed to take care of her.

01:08:35.280 --> 01:08:36.360
And that was wonderful.

01:08:36.820 --> 01:08:38.020
And I do take care of her.

01:08:38.020 --> 01:08:40.940
All day long, I did what they told me to
do, what I'm supposed to do.

01:08:41.340 --> 01:08:44.240
On those particular tablets, I knew what
they were, and I knew what they would do,

01:08:44.280 --> 01:08:45.300
and what she was taking them for.

01:08:45.660 --> 01:08:47.840
But anyway, all day long, I gave her her
medicine.

01:08:48.040 --> 01:08:49.400
I done everything I'm supposed to.

01:08:49.820 --> 01:08:50.760
All evening long.

01:08:50.920 --> 01:08:51.140
Why?

01:08:51.300 --> 01:08:53.000
I want to be sure what I'm doing.

01:08:53.080 --> 01:08:54.840
What I do, I have to be careful.

01:08:55.400 --> 01:08:58.820
And you know, I waited until 1 o'clock in
the morning.

01:08:58.940 --> 01:08:59.180
Why?

01:08:59.360 --> 01:09:03.000
Because every night, those little nuns
have to be gotten out of bed and go chant

01:09:03.000 --> 01:09:05.440
from 12 to 1.

01:09:05.440 --> 01:09:08.320
I thought, I'll wait until all the nuns go
back to bed, then I'm going to do

01:09:08.320 --> 01:09:08.680
something.

01:09:09.100 --> 01:09:12.740
And bless your hearts, after they were all
back in their beds, I'll tell you what I

01:09:12.740 --> 01:09:13.020
did.

01:09:13.340 --> 01:09:14.980
I took five or six of those tablets.

01:09:15.100 --> 01:09:19.520
I was only supposed to take one in a half
a glass of water every so often and give

01:09:19.520 --> 01:09:19.940
it to her.

01:09:20.800 --> 01:09:24.900
But because of the type they were and what
type of tablet it was, I knew what he

01:09:24.900 --> 01:09:25.260
would do.

01:09:25.860 --> 01:09:28.420
I put six of them in a glass of water and
stirred them up.

01:09:28.820 --> 01:09:29.860
And I gave them to her.

01:09:29.920 --> 01:09:31.700
I knew she would go into convulsions.

01:09:31.780 --> 01:09:33.280
It would twist her completely out of
shape.

01:09:33.280 --> 01:09:37.540
I knew that woman would suffer a million
deaths within 25 minutes.

01:09:37.760 --> 01:09:38.280
I knew that.

01:09:38.880 --> 01:09:42.180
And I thought, I'm going to watch her
suffer because she has punished us.

01:09:42.420 --> 01:09:45.040
She has hurt us so many thousands of
times.

01:09:45.300 --> 01:09:46.220
I'll watch her suffer.

01:09:46.540 --> 01:09:50.060
Isn't it terrible to think a child can be
lived, live in a place like that long

01:09:50.060 --> 01:09:53.640
enough, until she has the same kind of a
heart almost a mother superior has.

01:09:53.840 --> 01:09:55.740
But that's what comes when sin gets in
your life.

01:09:56.160 --> 01:09:56.900
And so I waited.

01:09:57.020 --> 01:09:57.960
You know, I gave them to her.

01:09:58.300 --> 01:09:59.720
And something happened to me.

01:09:59.800 --> 01:10:00.280
I got scared.

01:10:00.700 --> 01:10:02.940
And I looked at that woman and she began
to change color.

01:10:02.940 --> 01:10:04.660
And I couldn't find her pulse.

01:10:04.740 --> 01:10:05.820
I couldn't find her respiration.

01:10:05.960 --> 01:10:06.480
I was frightened.

01:10:06.920 --> 01:10:08.080
And I thought, oh, what shall I do?

01:10:08.120 --> 01:10:10.640
If they find her dead, only God knows what
they'll do to me.

01:10:10.860 --> 01:10:11.760
I'll tell you what I did.

01:10:11.980 --> 01:10:13.040
I got that stomach pump.

01:10:13.140 --> 01:10:14.200
I pumped as quick as I could.

01:10:14.260 --> 01:10:15.280
I pumped that woman's stomach.

01:10:15.600 --> 01:10:16.580
I massaged that woman.

01:10:16.700 --> 01:10:18.260
I done everything there was to do.

01:10:18.660 --> 01:10:20.240
And oh, thank God she didn't die.

01:10:20.680 --> 01:10:21.740
I said, I thank God.

01:10:22.060 --> 01:10:25.220
But you know, I sat down by the bed and
held her hand and watched her carefully

01:10:25.220 --> 01:10:29.000
until the respiration came back normal,
until her pulse was normal.

01:10:29.240 --> 01:10:30.360
And I felt she would live.

01:10:30.620 --> 01:10:32.440
And I thought of another thing I'll do
this then.

01:10:32.440 --> 01:10:35.580
I saw where her keys were hidden,
her shelf right there in her old room.

01:10:35.900 --> 01:10:37.680
So they're on a big chain or a big ring.

01:10:37.740 --> 01:10:39.060
And I thought, I'm going to take those
keys.

01:10:39.320 --> 01:10:40.640
I'm going down into that dungeon.

01:10:40.780 --> 01:10:43.480
There's a, when I say down, this is two
stories under the ground.

01:10:43.880 --> 01:10:46.100
I'm going someplace where she's always
wandered.

01:10:46.280 --> 01:10:47.700
It's a solid wall like that.

01:10:47.940 --> 01:10:50.340
And clear to the back end of that wall,
there's one door.

01:10:50.500 --> 01:10:51.100
And it's heavy.

01:10:51.300 --> 01:10:52.200
And it's always locked.

01:10:52.480 --> 01:10:55.600
And I've heard her tell me scores of
times, and I'm sure she has the others,

01:10:55.940 --> 01:10:57.620
don't ever try to go through that door.

01:10:57.920 --> 01:10:59.420
What in the world is over there?

01:10:59.720 --> 01:11:00.860
And why did she tell us that?

01:11:00.880 --> 01:11:01.740
We can't get through it.

01:11:01.740 --> 01:11:02.200
And it's locked.

01:11:02.480 --> 01:11:04.100
But you know, I wondered what was back
there.

01:11:04.420 --> 01:11:07.800
Because when they had me in the dungeon
for a long time once, I heard screams

01:11:07.800 --> 01:11:08.420
under the ground.

01:11:08.740 --> 01:11:10.380
I heard such blood-curdling screams.

01:11:10.480 --> 01:11:12.380
And I knew there were some girls locked up
somewhere.

01:11:12.780 --> 01:11:14.560
And so I'm going through there if I find
the key.

01:11:14.900 --> 01:11:17.380
And so I got her keys, and I went into
that particular place.

01:11:17.640 --> 01:11:20.540
And when I got back there, it took a while
to do it, I want you to know, to find the

01:11:20.540 --> 01:11:20.800
key.

01:11:21.040 --> 01:11:22.440
But oh, when it unlocked that door.

01:11:22.700 --> 01:11:24.820
I walked through that door, and I walked
into a hall.

01:11:25.040 --> 01:11:28.560
The hall, I would say, was maybe five feet
wide, maybe wider than that.

01:11:28.580 --> 01:11:29.700
That's just a guess.

01:11:29.700 --> 01:11:34.680
And anyway, on the other side of the hall,
there were a number of cells over there,

01:11:34.740 --> 01:11:35.560
small rooms.

01:11:35.860 --> 01:11:37.260
And they had real heavy doors.

01:11:37.720 --> 01:11:39.620
And in those cells were little nuns.

01:11:39.880 --> 01:11:43.000
And when I went up to the first one,
near the top of the door, there's a little

01:11:43.000 --> 01:11:43.940
place about this long.

01:11:44.000 --> 01:11:44.640
It's about that wide.

01:11:44.740 --> 01:11:46.300
It has iron bars going across there.

01:11:46.580 --> 01:11:50.280
And I looked right into the face of a
little nun that I knew, one that I'd sit

01:11:50.280 --> 01:11:53.300
across the table from, one that I'd prayed
with in the chapel.

01:11:53.320 --> 01:11:54.240
I knew that girl.

01:11:54.480 --> 01:11:55.280
And here she is.

01:11:55.300 --> 01:11:58.520
And they had chains and lock chains around
either of her wrists and around her

01:11:58.520 --> 01:11:59.040
waistline.

01:11:59.040 --> 01:12:01.280
And I said, when did you have something to
eat last?

01:12:01.520 --> 01:12:02.060
And no answer.

01:12:02.220 --> 01:12:03.220
How long have you been here?

01:12:03.240 --> 01:12:03.780
No answer.

01:12:04.020 --> 01:12:06.960
I went down to the second, the third,
the fourth, the fifth, and the stench was

01:12:06.960 --> 01:12:08.400
getting so bad I couldn't stand it.

01:12:08.600 --> 01:12:10.280
And you know those little girls would not
talk.

01:12:10.360 --> 01:12:10.640
Why?

01:12:12.420 --> 01:12:14.640
I lived in the convent, you know,
a long time.

01:12:15.760 --> 01:12:18.520
And every... I don't care if I was two
miles under the convent.

01:12:18.640 --> 01:12:21.000
Way back there, we were working back
there.

01:12:21.200 --> 01:12:21.960
And we'd whisper.

01:12:22.340 --> 01:12:25.960
The next day I'd have to suffer because
the convents are wired.

01:12:26.440 --> 01:12:30.620
And the mother superior can hear every
voice, every whisper.

01:12:31.060 --> 01:12:32.120
And then somebody tells.

01:12:32.520 --> 01:12:33.640
And you're in some serious trouble.

01:12:33.940 --> 01:12:35.780
And those nuns have been there long
enough.

01:12:36.040 --> 01:12:36.700
What have they done?

01:12:36.740 --> 01:12:37.360
I don't know.

01:12:37.600 --> 01:12:40.040
But those nuns are supposed to have
cracked up mentally.

01:12:40.380 --> 01:12:42.120
And so they have to put them in those
chains.

01:12:42.340 --> 01:12:44.580
And when they die, they can't fall down to
the floor.

01:12:44.860 --> 01:12:46.460
They're just dropping those chains in
slumps.

01:12:46.520 --> 01:12:48.360
When they go in there, they don't give
them any more food.

01:12:48.680 --> 01:12:49.320
No more water.

01:12:49.420 --> 01:12:50.220
That's a slow death.

01:12:50.600 --> 01:12:56.100
And so as I saw all of that, I became so
sick from the terrible stench because many

01:12:56.100 --> 01:12:57.220
of them are already dead.

01:12:57.660 --> 01:12:58.960
And I don't know how long they've been
dead.

01:12:59.220 --> 01:13:02.500
I came out of there and walked back up to
this room where the mother superior was.

01:13:02.680 --> 01:13:03.820
And she was lying there sleeping.

01:13:04.160 --> 01:13:05.360
And I watched her carefully.

01:13:05.520 --> 01:13:06.980
And she slept until the next day.

01:13:07.560 --> 01:13:09.580
Long, long hours and didn't wake.

01:13:09.680 --> 01:13:11.840
And when she did, she said, I've had a
long sleep.

01:13:11.860 --> 01:13:12.560
And I said, yes.

01:13:13.120 --> 01:13:14.620
They let me take care of her for three
days.

01:13:14.720 --> 01:13:15.580
And you know the third day?

01:13:15.800 --> 01:13:16.460
I don't know.

01:13:16.520 --> 01:13:18.180
You say, did she ever find out she was
down there?

01:13:18.220 --> 01:13:18.760
Well, not yet.

01:13:19.780 --> 01:13:21.260
I hope she didn't while I was there.

01:13:21.560 --> 01:13:24.020
But anyway, three days they put me out in
the kitchen.

01:13:24.440 --> 01:13:28.400
In other words, when we go to the kitchen,
six of us go for a six week period.

01:13:28.820 --> 01:13:32.200
And this particular time they put me out
in the kitchen with five other little

01:13:32.200 --> 01:13:32.560
nuns.

01:13:32.640 --> 01:13:33.440
What am I there for?

01:13:33.460 --> 01:13:34.360
I'm doing the kitchen work.

01:13:34.580 --> 01:13:37.340
I'm going to do all the cooking that's
done out there and take care of the work

01:13:37.340 --> 01:13:37.780
in the kitchen.

01:13:38.260 --> 01:13:41.300
And so when I went out of the kitchen,
we have a long table back here.

01:13:41.580 --> 01:13:42.520
And it's a work table.

01:13:42.860 --> 01:13:45.560
And our vegetables will be prepared for
the soup.

01:13:45.620 --> 01:13:47.160
And that's what we were doing,
all six of us.

01:13:47.520 --> 01:13:48.580
And something happened.

01:13:48.680 --> 01:13:50.460
Our kitchen is a very large room.

01:13:50.740 --> 01:13:51.700
And a very long room.

01:13:51.740 --> 01:13:52.760
Not as wide as it is long.

01:13:52.760 --> 01:13:56.740
And over one end of it, you will find over
here the stair steps leading about four of

01:13:56.740 --> 01:13:57.220
them leading down.

01:13:57.300 --> 01:13:58.500
Then there's a landing right there.

01:13:58.820 --> 01:14:00.740
Over there is a big heavy outside door.

01:14:01.040 --> 01:14:02.020
But here there's a landing.

01:14:02.140 --> 01:14:03.460
Our garbage cans sit there.

01:14:03.700 --> 01:14:07.280
And right here is a stairway, cement one,
leading down one story under the gown.

01:14:07.460 --> 01:14:09.260
Now I'm up on first floor in this kitchen.

01:14:09.620 --> 01:14:12.980
All right, as I'm in there and we're there
working, something happens.

01:14:13.160 --> 01:14:14.640
Somebody touched a garbage can.

01:14:14.720 --> 01:14:16.000
You know all my convent life.

01:14:16.300 --> 01:14:17.620
We are taught never to break silence.

01:14:17.920 --> 01:14:19.680
We don't dare to make noises in the
convent.

01:14:19.760 --> 01:14:20.580
We are punished for them.

01:14:20.580 --> 01:14:23.220
And when something touched the garbage
can, that's a noise.

01:14:23.380 --> 01:14:26.800
And who in the world, six of us and we're
all together, who's touching the garbage

01:14:26.800 --> 01:14:27.200
can?

01:14:27.460 --> 01:14:29.840
I wheeled around and they wheeled around
and we saw a man.

01:14:30.240 --> 01:14:34.220
And you know that man was picking up the
full can, leaving an empty one.

01:14:34.400 --> 01:14:35.720
I've never seen that before.

01:14:35.800 --> 01:14:37.180
I've been in that convent for years.

01:14:37.440 --> 01:14:38.360
And in the kitchen.

01:14:38.480 --> 01:14:40.000
But I never saw anything like that happen.

01:14:40.200 --> 01:14:41.960
I believe God had His hands on me.

01:14:42.080 --> 01:14:43.380
With all my heart I believe it.

01:14:43.680 --> 01:14:44.580
And you say, what happened?

01:14:44.700 --> 01:14:49.460
Well, we turned around quickly because to
us it's a mortal sin to look upon a man

01:14:49.460 --> 01:14:51.000
other than a Roman Catholic priest.

01:14:51.320 --> 01:14:53.320
And I mean we turned around quick and went
to our work.

01:14:53.560 --> 01:14:57.360
But you know, I thought, if that man comes
back again to get another full can,

01:14:57.660 --> 01:15:00.340
I'm going to give him a nose and I'm going
to ask him if I can run out with him.

01:15:00.380 --> 01:15:01.180
But I didn't do that.

01:15:01.380 --> 01:15:02.240
But you know what I did?

01:15:02.420 --> 01:15:05.000
When we run out of something in the
kitchen, there's a pencil hanging up there

01:15:05.000 --> 01:15:05.520
on a chain.

01:15:05.860 --> 01:15:08.120
And bless your heart, I have to,
or whoever it is who runs out,

01:15:08.300 --> 01:15:09.700
you have to write it on a tab.

01:15:10.140 --> 01:15:12.920
And of course, I stole a piece of paper
off of a sack.

01:15:13.200 --> 01:15:15.820
And I thought, I'll carry that little
piece of paper in my skirt pocket.

01:15:15.820 --> 01:15:19.340
And every time I can get a hold of that
pencil, I'm going to write a word or two

01:15:19.340 --> 01:15:19.840
on a note.

01:15:20.080 --> 01:15:20.880
And that's what I did.

01:15:20.920 --> 01:15:21.920
It took quite a while to do it.

01:15:22.220 --> 01:15:23.900
But oh, I watched that garbage can.

01:15:24.120 --> 01:15:26.320
Every time I could take the garbage down
there, I did it.

01:15:26.560 --> 01:15:28.160
And you know, when it was just about full.

01:15:28.440 --> 01:15:31.460
And I thought the next evening,
it'll be full when we put all the garbage

01:15:31.460 --> 01:15:31.820
in it.

01:15:32.160 --> 01:15:35.560
And so that afternoon I broke my crucifix
and I laid it up on a shelf.

01:15:35.600 --> 01:15:38.000
And I had a hard time doing it because
they're watching me.

01:15:38.220 --> 01:15:39.920
But I did it and I laid it up on a shelf.

01:15:40.320 --> 01:15:43.280
And I did that to have a way to get back
to that room, of course.

01:15:43.280 --> 01:15:48.420
And so when our dinner work is over,
our supper dishes, everybody has to go out

01:15:48.420 --> 01:15:49.100
at the same time.

01:15:49.160 --> 01:15:50.700
And we marched by the Mother Superior.

01:15:51.180 --> 01:15:54.020
And you know, when I marched by,
I stopped and said, please, may I speak to

01:15:54.020 --> 01:15:54.100
you?

01:15:54.500 --> 01:15:55.440
And I did.

01:15:55.720 --> 01:15:58.860
And I said, Mother Superior, I broke my
crucifix and I left it in the kitchen.

01:15:58.980 --> 01:15:59.820
May I go for it?

01:16:00.140 --> 01:16:02.520
And of course, no nun goes without her
crucifix.

01:16:02.880 --> 01:16:04.140
And she said, how did you break it?

01:16:04.180 --> 01:16:04.960
I lied to her.

01:16:05.240 --> 01:16:06.980
Everything she asked me, I lied to her.

01:16:07.600 --> 01:16:08.860
You say, why did you lie?

01:16:09.320 --> 01:16:10.520
She lies to us.

01:16:11.340 --> 01:16:12.940
And we're all sinners, so we all lie.

01:16:13.460 --> 01:16:15.160
And it doesn't make any difference in
there.

01:16:15.600 --> 01:16:16.440
And so we lied.

01:16:16.840 --> 01:16:17.660
And I lied to her.

01:16:17.720 --> 01:16:20.480
And then finally she said, you go get the
crucifix and come right back.

01:16:20.820 --> 01:16:22.020
And that's all I wanted anyway.

01:16:22.100 --> 01:16:22.860
I have to have a reason.

01:16:22.960 --> 01:16:24.660
You can't go back to the kitchen after
you've left it.

01:16:25.000 --> 01:16:27.160
And so I didn't go for the crucifix,
but she thought I did.

01:16:27.200 --> 01:16:28.880
And I run for this tin can.

01:16:28.960 --> 01:16:29.180
Why?

01:16:29.480 --> 01:16:33.480
That night when I put my garbage in there,
I put a note right on top of that garbage

01:16:33.480 --> 01:16:35.560
and left the lid off, which I was not
supposed to do.

01:16:35.920 --> 01:16:40.020
And you know, I said on the note to the
garbage man, if you get this, won't you

01:16:40.020 --> 01:16:41.420
please help me out?

01:16:41.420 --> 01:16:43.560
Won't you do something to help the little
nun down?

01:16:43.560 --> 01:16:47.100
I told him about those 19 cells down there
and those 19 nuns in him.

01:16:47.320 --> 01:16:49.160
I told him about some of the babies that
have been killed.

01:16:49.260 --> 01:16:51.980
I told him some other little nuns that are
locked up in the dungeons and they're

01:16:51.980 --> 01:16:52.720
bound with chains.

01:16:52.980 --> 01:16:53.800
I told him a plenty.

01:16:54.120 --> 01:16:55.180
And I said, won't you help us?

01:16:55.360 --> 01:16:57.580
And if you will, please leave a note under
the empty can.

01:16:57.860 --> 01:16:58.980
That's what I went back for.

01:16:59.440 --> 01:17:02.120
And when I lifted up the can and found a
note, you don't know how I felt.

01:17:02.400 --> 01:17:03.300
I froze to the floor.

01:17:03.400 --> 01:17:04.760
I was so scared I didn't know what to do.

01:17:05.020 --> 01:17:06.800
I picked that piece of paper up and I
read.

01:17:06.860 --> 01:17:08.040
And this is what that man said.

01:17:08.360 --> 01:17:09.760
I'm leaving that door unlocked.

01:17:09.760 --> 01:17:11.740
And I'll leave the big iron gate unlocked.

01:17:11.820 --> 01:17:12.340
You come out.

01:17:13.480 --> 01:17:15.900
Oh, let me tell you, that's almost more
than you dare.

01:17:16.040 --> 01:17:17.680
Well, I never dreamed I'd get out of a
convent.

01:17:17.740 --> 01:17:19.060
I never thought of ever getting out.

01:17:19.300 --> 01:17:20.000
I wanted out.

01:17:20.300 --> 01:17:23.200
But you say, oh yes, when I could collect
myself.

01:17:23.600 --> 01:17:26.240
I reached over and turned the knob and you
know it was stood unopened.

01:17:26.480 --> 01:17:29.040
I walked out of that convent and I slammed
it through.

01:17:29.120 --> 01:17:30.300
I was sure the lock was on it.

01:17:30.440 --> 01:17:31.880
And I got out to the big iron gate.

01:17:31.960 --> 01:17:33.340
But oh, he had me trapped.

01:17:34.380 --> 01:17:36.580
That iron gate was just as locked as it
was ever locked.

01:17:36.820 --> 01:17:39.380
You don't know what he'd done for me to
stand there looking at the iron gate.

01:17:39.380 --> 01:17:40.720
I'm locked out of the convent.

01:17:40.800 --> 01:17:41.860
I have no right out there.

01:17:42.120 --> 01:17:42.840
You can't imagine.

01:17:43.180 --> 01:17:44.560
I don't know if I grew old right there.

01:17:44.600 --> 01:17:45.120
I don't know.

01:17:45.380 --> 01:17:47.580
I know I suffered enough because I'm
scared half to death.

01:17:47.860 --> 01:17:50.080
And what will I do if I go back and pound
on that door?

01:17:50.320 --> 01:17:51.320
What will they do with me?

01:17:51.340 --> 01:17:52.860
And oh, the fear that grips your heart.

01:17:53.320 --> 01:17:54.080
And you say, what did you do?

01:17:54.120 --> 01:17:55.520
I didn't have any shoes and stockings on.

01:17:55.540 --> 01:17:56.660
I'd wore those out years ago.

01:17:56.840 --> 01:17:59.920
When I think of the Roman Catholic Church
being the richest church in the world and

01:17:59.920 --> 01:18:03.920
they let those little nuns go winter and
summer without any shoes and without any

01:18:03.920 --> 01:18:07.160
hose, living in crucial poverty,
I wonder how they can do it.

01:18:09.220 --> 01:18:10.000
Hungry as we are.

01:18:10.820 --> 01:18:12.220
Your priests are all nice and fat.

01:18:13.640 --> 01:18:14.800
The little nuns are so hungry.

01:18:14.880 --> 01:18:16.280
I wonder how they do it sometimes.

01:18:16.860 --> 01:18:17.980
You say, what did you do Charlotte?

01:18:18.140 --> 01:18:21.420
Well, I'll tell you, I just took a hold of
that big old iron gate and I tried to

01:18:21.420 --> 01:18:21.800
climb it.

01:18:21.960 --> 01:18:23.220
That's all there was for me to do.

01:18:23.740 --> 01:18:26.920
And up about a foot and a half from the
top is a ledge about six inches wide.

01:18:27.320 --> 01:18:30.100
I thought if I could get high enough to
get my knee on the ledge, I'm safe.

01:18:30.480 --> 01:18:31.160
And I did.

01:18:31.380 --> 01:18:34.620
I got one knee on the ledge, but this time
I don't have any strength left either.

01:18:34.620 --> 01:18:36.540
And you know, I thought, what'll I do?

01:18:36.640 --> 01:18:39.040
I'll put one foot over, then I'll get the
other over.

01:18:39.120 --> 01:18:40.960
Then I realized, you know, I have three
skirts on.

01:18:41.400 --> 01:18:43.600
My skirts are gathered on a belt and
they're clear down to my ankles.

01:18:43.740 --> 01:18:46.780
My veil, of course, is down to my knees in
front and that lung in the back.

01:18:47.040 --> 01:18:49.320
How will I ever get over those sharp
points?

01:18:49.820 --> 01:18:52.580
And I thought, I can't go down,
I don't have strength enough, so I'll have

01:18:52.580 --> 01:18:53.040
to jump.

01:18:53.220 --> 01:18:57.040
And if I jump, I'll break every bone
because I was a broken body, of course.

01:18:57.520 --> 01:18:58.480
And you know, I thought, what'll I do?

01:18:58.540 --> 01:19:02.920
Well, I pulled all my clothing up around
my body and held them with one hand.

01:19:02.920 --> 01:19:04.840
And then I thought, I'll have to jump.

01:19:05.340 --> 01:19:07.140
And you know, they have a buzzer in the
convent.

01:19:07.440 --> 01:19:10.840
And when a little nun tries to escape and
they catch her, they put a buzzer on.

01:19:11.300 --> 01:19:14.700
And oh, if the priest tells you they don't
come to the convent, I wish you could see

01:19:14.700 --> 01:19:15.380
the priest then.

01:19:15.860 --> 01:19:17.400
You'll find a good many of them there.

01:19:17.780 --> 01:19:19.620
And they immediately are after that nun.

01:19:20.040 --> 01:19:20.960
They don't want her out.

01:19:21.200 --> 01:19:24.380
If she comes out of that convent,
she's going to give a testimony someday.

01:19:24.720 --> 01:19:26.340
And it'll pull the cloak off of the
convent.

01:19:26.680 --> 01:19:28.540
Not assure you they don't intend for us to
get out.

01:19:28.540 --> 01:19:34.340
And so as I let loose of that top of that
gate and I made that jump, I just didn't

01:19:34.340 --> 01:19:34.720
make it.

01:19:35.120 --> 01:19:38.160
My clothing caught on top of those points
and I hung there, but I let loose.

01:19:38.600 --> 01:19:40.900
And I often say, you know, I don't know
what I look like.

01:19:41.160 --> 01:19:42.980
I don't know, I didn't know I had gray
hair.

01:19:43.220 --> 01:19:45.840
But I've often said, maybe my hair turned
gray there.

01:19:46.180 --> 01:19:49.380
Maybe you'll never know what I suffered
hanging on top of that gate, knowing that

01:19:49.380 --> 01:19:50.500
buzzer can go on any minute.

01:19:50.600 --> 01:19:51.820
And then what would they do to me?

01:19:52.120 --> 01:19:52.840
I was scared.

01:19:52.840 --> 01:19:55.640
So I thought I tried to wiggle my body and
to foreswing it.

01:19:55.900 --> 01:19:59.420
If I can get back far enough to grab the
gate with one hand, maybe I can help

01:19:59.420 --> 01:19:59.780
myself.

01:19:59.880 --> 01:20:00.300
And I did.

01:20:00.660 --> 01:20:03.720
And then with the other hand, I tried to
pry the snappers loose on my skirt.

01:20:04.020 --> 01:20:05.440
And that let me fall between them.

01:20:05.940 --> 01:20:06.760
Do you know what happened to me?

01:20:06.800 --> 01:20:07.440
I hit the ground.

01:20:08.540 --> 01:20:09.280
I was out.

01:20:09.420 --> 01:20:10.580
I was unconscious for a while.

01:20:10.840 --> 01:20:12.720
I don't know how long, though we have no
way to tell.

01:20:12.940 --> 01:20:16.700
But when I came to, I had a shoulder
broken and my arm was broken right in

01:20:16.700 --> 01:20:16.880
here.

01:20:16.980 --> 01:20:20.280
The place, the bone had snapped right
through my place because I didn't have any

01:20:20.280 --> 01:20:20.800
meat on me.

01:20:21.140 --> 01:20:22.420
And I thought, what'll I do?

01:20:22.500 --> 01:20:24.100
And I realized I'm on the outside.

01:20:24.440 --> 01:20:25.300
And where am I going?

01:20:25.640 --> 01:20:26.720
Where do you think you'd go?

01:20:27.180 --> 01:20:28.420
I'm not in the United States.

01:20:28.920 --> 01:20:29.900
I'm in another country.

01:20:30.280 --> 01:20:31.460
And I don't know a thing about that
country.

01:20:31.540 --> 01:20:33.240
When they took me over there, I was
heavily veiled.

01:20:33.620 --> 01:20:37.200
And they took me from that particular park
or train to the convey.

01:20:37.340 --> 01:20:38.180
I was heavily veiled.

01:20:38.260 --> 01:20:39.140
I couldn't see anything.

01:20:39.560 --> 01:20:40.720
And I don't know where I am.

01:20:40.760 --> 01:20:41.700
I don't know where to go.

01:20:41.900 --> 01:20:43.260
I don't know if I have any people.

01:20:43.380 --> 01:20:44.980
I don't know if I know anybody in the
world.

01:20:45.280 --> 01:20:45.900
And I'm a pauper.

01:20:46.000 --> 01:20:46.800
I don't have any money.

01:20:46.880 --> 01:20:47.660
And I'm hungry.

01:20:47.660 --> 01:20:48.980
And my body's broken.

01:20:49.100 --> 01:20:49.840
And I'm hurt now.

01:20:49.940 --> 01:20:50.920
Where do you think you'd go?

01:20:51.720 --> 01:20:53.140
I tell you it's something to think about.

01:20:53.540 --> 01:20:54.600
I just started to wave it.

01:20:54.640 --> 01:20:55.440
Get away from the convey.

01:20:55.460 --> 01:20:55.920
And I did.

01:20:55.960 --> 01:20:57.100
And I started moving away.

01:20:57.520 --> 01:20:58.900
And all the leaves were falling.

01:20:58.980 --> 01:21:00.140
And they made so much noise.

01:21:00.180 --> 01:21:00.740
And I was scared.

01:21:00.820 --> 01:21:01.680
And I kept on moving.

01:21:02.100 --> 01:21:03.500
And finally dark overtook me.

01:21:03.680 --> 01:21:05.860
Or rather, there's no twilight in that
part of the country.

01:21:05.920 --> 01:21:07.000
It just drops off into darkness.

01:21:07.460 --> 01:21:09.600
And, you know, I saw this little building
beside the road.

01:21:09.700 --> 01:21:11.180
And I thought I'll crawl in it.

01:21:11.240 --> 01:21:13.500
It was a doghouse or maybe a chicken coop
or something.

01:21:13.560 --> 01:21:14.040
But it's dirty.

01:21:14.080 --> 01:21:16.340
And I crawled in there because I was
shaking and scared.

01:21:16.340 --> 01:21:19.700
And I laid in there for a little while to
get a hold of myself.

01:21:19.800 --> 01:21:20.920
And then I thought I'll have to travel.

01:21:21.000 --> 01:21:21.400
It's dark.

01:21:21.660 --> 01:21:22.440
It's safer for me.

01:21:22.680 --> 01:21:24.040
So I got out to travel that night.

01:21:24.100 --> 01:21:27.860
And the next day I hid behind pieces of
board and tin that was piled up against an

01:21:27.860 --> 01:21:28.360
old building.

01:21:28.680 --> 01:21:31.180
And all day long imagined hiding in that
hot place.

01:21:31.580 --> 01:21:34.960
And hungry as I was with broken bones,
do you realize what it was all about?

01:21:35.240 --> 01:21:36.420
No, you'll never know.

01:21:36.620 --> 01:21:37.180
But I do.

01:21:37.640 --> 01:21:41.100
And then, you know, when night came again,
I have to go because I'm going to get away

01:21:41.100 --> 01:21:41.660
from the convey.

01:21:41.660 --> 01:21:43.280
And I'm afraid to rap on somebody's door.

01:21:43.680 --> 01:21:45.340
Remember, I'm scared.

01:21:45.480 --> 01:21:47.500
I don't know, I might rap on a Roman
Catholic's door.

01:21:47.760 --> 01:21:51.400
They will immediately notify the priest
and I'll be taken back to the convent.

01:21:51.760 --> 01:21:53.620
And I'd rather they kill me than take me
back.

01:21:53.940 --> 01:21:54.600
And so I didn't.

01:21:54.680 --> 01:21:56.040
But I went on and on and on.

01:21:56.360 --> 01:21:59.320
And then the next night, or the next day,
I hid out in an old straw sack.

01:21:59.720 --> 01:22:02.720
And then that afternoon on the third day,
I was scared then.

01:22:02.940 --> 01:22:05.160
Because this armor was swollen as tight as
you could spell.

01:22:05.300 --> 01:22:07.500
Well, I was having to carry it in the
other hand.

01:22:07.820 --> 01:22:11.780
And all my fingers began to turn blue and
I realized gangrene poisoning setting in.

01:22:11.780 --> 01:22:14.280
And you know, nobody should do anything
for you.

01:22:14.480 --> 01:22:17.340
And I realized I'm going to die just like
a rat beside the road.

01:22:17.600 --> 01:22:18.580
That's a terrible feeling.

01:22:19.360 --> 01:22:20.460
And I thought, what'll I do?

01:22:20.680 --> 01:22:22.180
I'll just get out and go a little sooner.

01:22:22.280 --> 01:22:23.900
Maybe I'll have to rap on somebody's door.

01:22:24.240 --> 01:22:25.100
And that's what I did.

01:22:25.400 --> 01:22:28.480
And I remember as I walked, I don't know
how far, I saw this lamp.

01:22:28.560 --> 01:22:29.980
It was an old-fashioned lamp burning.

01:22:30.320 --> 01:22:32.220
Very poor house, no paint on it.

01:22:32.460 --> 01:22:33.640
And I knew those were poor people.

01:22:33.980 --> 01:22:36.440
So I walked up to the screen door and I
rapped on it.

01:22:36.720 --> 01:22:38.240
And a tall man came to the door.

01:22:38.280 --> 01:22:39.060
He was rather old.

01:22:39.340 --> 01:22:41.360
And I said, please, may I have a drink of
water?

01:22:41.360 --> 01:22:43.220
And you know, that old man didn't answer
me.

01:22:43.260 --> 01:22:45.000
But he walked back in the house and called
his wife.

01:22:45.440 --> 01:22:48.220
And God bless her heart, she's like most
old-fashioned mothers.

01:22:48.460 --> 01:22:51.960
She came to the door and she didn't say,
who are you and what do you want?

01:22:52.280 --> 01:22:54.920
Thank God, there are a lot of good people
in this world.

01:22:56.760 --> 01:23:00.040
That dear little woman just pushed that
door open and said, won't you come in and

01:23:00.040 --> 01:23:00.520
sit down?

01:23:00.840 --> 01:23:03.700
Do you know that's the most beautiful
music I've ever heard in my life?

01:23:04.000 --> 01:23:05.900
I should say I'll come in and sit down.

01:23:06.180 --> 01:23:07.420
And she pulled out a chair.

01:23:08.540 --> 01:23:11.040
And I sat down on it, relaxed and sat
down.

01:23:11.620 --> 01:23:13.100
And you know, the house was poor.

01:23:13.160 --> 01:23:14.780
There was no rugs on the floor of any
type.

01:23:15.140 --> 01:23:17.440
A tablecloth, red checkered tablecloth on
the table.

01:23:17.540 --> 01:23:19.940
A little old stove over there in the
corner and there was a fire in it.

01:23:20.280 --> 01:23:23.840
And that woman put some milk in a pan and
heated and brought it over to me.

01:23:24.220 --> 01:23:25.120
And you know, I'm hungry.

01:23:25.440 --> 01:23:26.460
I don't have any manners.

01:23:27.180 --> 01:23:28.420
I forgot how to act.

01:23:29.060 --> 01:23:30.960
I forgot a lot of things in 22 years.

01:23:31.260 --> 01:23:35.080
And I grabbed that glass of milk before
she ever set it down and I gobbled it

01:23:35.080 --> 01:23:35.300
down.

01:23:35.300 --> 01:23:36.060
I'm so hungry.

01:23:36.480 --> 01:23:38.060
I felt like I'm going stark mad.

01:23:38.300 --> 01:23:41.800
And I took it instantly and the moment it
touched my stomach, of course I couldn't

01:23:41.800 --> 01:23:42.320
retain it.

01:23:42.540 --> 01:23:43.140
I lost it.

01:23:43.180 --> 01:23:45.220
I haven't had any whole milk in 22 years.

01:23:45.440 --> 01:23:47.120
You could understand why I couldn't take
it.

01:23:47.560 --> 01:23:48.480
And she knew what to do.

01:23:48.560 --> 01:23:50.480
She went out in the kitchen and she heated
some water.

01:23:50.660 --> 01:23:52.600
Or rather, over to the stove and heated
some water.

01:23:53.840 --> 01:23:56.920
And with her heart she put sugar in that
water and brought it over to me.

01:23:57.320 --> 01:23:59.580
And she sat down and gave it to me from a
spoon.

01:24:00.280 --> 01:24:01.540
I took every bit of it.

01:24:01.640 --> 01:24:02.380
Oh, it was good.

01:24:03.580 --> 01:24:04.540
It was nourishing.

01:24:05.580 --> 01:24:08.880
And then the daddy walked over by me and
he said, Now tell us who you are and where

01:24:08.880 --> 01:24:09.460
did you come from?

01:24:11.020 --> 01:24:12.080
I began to cry.

01:24:12.420 --> 01:24:13.240
I was scared then.

01:24:13.800 --> 01:24:16.260
I said, I've run away from the convent and
I'm not going back.

01:24:17.120 --> 01:24:18.600
And he said, What happened to you?

01:24:18.620 --> 01:24:19.960
And my hand was laying up on the table.

01:24:20.420 --> 01:24:22.660
And I said, Well, I tried to get over the
gate.

01:24:23.080 --> 01:24:24.280
And I fell and I'm hurt.

01:24:24.900 --> 01:24:26.500
And you know, he said, We'll have to call
a doctor.

01:24:27.180 --> 01:24:28.500
And bless your sweet life.

01:24:28.900 --> 01:24:30.500
Then I really became hysterical.

01:24:30.500 --> 01:24:31.500
I got up from the table.

01:24:31.620 --> 01:24:33.600
I was going to run back outside and they
wouldn't let me.

01:24:34.120 --> 01:24:34.880
He said, Wait a minute.

01:24:34.960 --> 01:24:35.880
We're not going to hurt you.

01:24:35.940 --> 01:24:36.300
You're hurt.

01:24:36.360 --> 01:24:37.140
You have to have help.

01:24:37.640 --> 01:24:40.020
I said, I don't have any money and I don't
have any people.

01:24:40.760 --> 01:24:42.380
And I can't pay a doctor bill.

01:24:42.940 --> 01:24:46.720
Of course, I was just... I was just in a
terrible mess, if you want to know it.

01:24:47.360 --> 01:24:49.940
And that man said to me, I'm going after a
doctor.

01:24:51.520 --> 01:24:52.940
He said, And he's not a Roman Catholic.

01:24:53.280 --> 01:24:54.080
Neither am I.

01:24:54.740 --> 01:24:57.300
That dear man didn't have a car,
but he hitched up a horse and buggy.

01:24:57.400 --> 01:24:59.120
And he drove nine miles to get a doctor.

01:24:59.120 --> 01:25:01.400
The doctor came out in his car.

01:25:01.840 --> 01:25:04.220
And when he got out to the place,
he got there ahead of the man.

01:25:04.760 --> 01:25:08.280
And when the doctor walked in and walked
around me, he just kept walking around me.

01:25:08.280 --> 01:25:08.920
He was swearing.

01:25:09.660 --> 01:25:12.200
Maybe he didn't realize it was a terrible
effect on me.

01:25:13.180 --> 01:25:17.360
When he stopped and looked at me,
of course he was mad.

01:25:19.120 --> 01:25:19.940
He was mad.

01:25:20.020 --> 01:25:20.700
Why was he mad?

01:25:20.820 --> 01:25:24.000
He was mad because he was looking at
something that was supposed to be a human

01:25:24.000 --> 01:25:24.360
being.

01:25:24.840 --> 01:25:26.480
And I didn't even look like a human being.

01:25:26.600 --> 01:25:28.160
I was in such a horrible condition.

01:25:28.980 --> 01:25:30.400
But finally he calmed down.

01:25:30.520 --> 01:25:33.120
He came over to me and said, I'll have to
take you to the hospital tonight.

01:25:33.840 --> 01:25:35.380
Oh, I became hysterical.

01:25:35.480 --> 01:25:37.080
I said, I don't want to go.

01:25:37.180 --> 01:25:38.200
Please don't make me go.

01:25:38.320 --> 01:25:40.420
And then he sat down carefully and took my
hand.

01:25:41.200 --> 01:25:43.100
And he began to say, I'm not going to hurt
you.

01:25:43.140 --> 01:25:43.900
You have to have help.

01:25:44.160 --> 01:25:45.000
And I want to help you.

01:25:45.520 --> 01:25:47.600
That doctor took me into the hospital that
night.

01:25:47.640 --> 01:25:49.180
And that's where I learned how much I
weighed.

01:25:49.680 --> 01:25:52.560
He weighed me, and I weighed exactly 89
pounds.

01:25:52.640 --> 01:25:54.400
I weigh 178 right now.

01:25:55.060 --> 01:25:56.760
And then, you know, they took me into
surgery.

01:25:56.760 --> 01:25:59.400
And, of course, they tried to get the
swelling and the inflammation out of my

01:25:59.400 --> 01:26:01.620
hand and arm, that they might do something
for me.

01:26:01.660 --> 01:26:03.300
It took about 12, 13 days.

01:26:03.920 --> 01:26:04.940
And then, of course, they had us.

01:26:04.980 --> 01:26:07.200
But this time it started to nip,
and they had to all to break over again

01:26:07.200 --> 01:26:07.900
and put me in a cast.

01:26:07.940 --> 01:26:08.740
I did a lot of suffering.

01:26:09.400 --> 01:26:13.320
Well, you know, one day a way was made for
me to be released from the hospital.

01:26:13.480 --> 01:26:14.720
Who did they release me to?

01:26:15.960 --> 01:26:19.000
I begged to go out to those old people to
stay with them, and they let me go.

01:26:19.360 --> 01:26:21.280
Because they'd been good to me,
and I trusted them.

01:26:21.860 --> 01:26:23.740
And the doctor wanted to take me out to
his home.

01:26:23.800 --> 01:26:25.460
I was in that hospital three and a half
months.

01:26:25.940 --> 01:26:28.300
And they took me out there, and I stayed
for a period of time.

01:26:28.820 --> 01:26:32.980
And then one day, this same doctor,
he wrote a letter, and you know what he

01:26:32.980 --> 01:26:33.720
sent in that letter?

01:26:34.000 --> 01:26:36.100
A letter, he sent a check.

01:26:36.520 --> 01:26:39.940
He told the people to go and buy me a
suitcase and get me some clothing.

01:26:40.880 --> 01:26:42.860
He was coming for me on a certain day.

01:26:43.360 --> 01:26:45.560
He had told me, I'm going to find your
people for me.

01:26:45.960 --> 01:26:47.760
You know, that doctor's a stranger to me.

01:26:47.760 --> 01:26:53.020
But, oh, I thank God that he has men and
women across this world.

01:26:53.620 --> 01:26:57.900
And those men and women are not so selfish
that they won't use some of the money that

01:26:57.900 --> 01:27:02.700
God has allowed them to have to help that
one that's less fortunate than they.

01:27:03.180 --> 01:27:05.020
Here, they spent a lot of money on me.

01:27:05.300 --> 01:27:06.920
I was in that hospital three and a half
months.

01:27:07.320 --> 01:27:10.140
And I mean, there was a lot of money spent
on me, but he paid the bill.

01:27:10.360 --> 01:27:11.140
How appreciated.

01:27:11.780 --> 01:27:14.560
And you know that, dear doctor,
oh, they took me, bought my clothing for

01:27:14.560 --> 01:27:16.440
me, got my suitcase, and everything was
ready.

01:27:16.440 --> 01:27:19.700
And the day came when he come and,
you know, that doctor took me to the

01:27:19.700 --> 01:27:20.020
train.

01:27:20.540 --> 01:27:23.040
And he put me on a train in care of
somebody, of course.

01:27:23.700 --> 01:27:24.980
He found my people for me.

01:27:25.380 --> 01:27:28.000
I was on buses and trains and boats for a
long time.

01:27:28.060 --> 01:27:31.580
And one day, oh, after that, he had gotten
my visa to get back into the United

01:27:31.580 --> 01:27:32.020
States.

01:27:32.420 --> 01:27:35.340
And I was always in charge of somebody
because they wouldn't trust me to travel

01:27:35.340 --> 01:27:38.000
alone because of having lived under the
ground for long.

01:27:38.520 --> 01:27:42.040
And one day, they called the name of the
town where I was or where my mother and

01:27:42.040 --> 01:27:42.600
daddy lived.

01:27:43.060 --> 01:27:44.760
Don't you know I knew where mother and
daddy lived?

01:27:44.760 --> 01:27:48.140
And I got off of that train and run down
to their home, five blocks from that

01:27:48.140 --> 01:27:49.620
depot, just a very small town.

01:27:50.240 --> 01:27:55.360
And when I rang the bell, my daddy come to
the door and, you know, I looked at his

01:27:55.360 --> 01:27:55.600
face.

01:27:55.680 --> 01:27:56.480
I didn't know him.

01:27:56.980 --> 01:27:59.960
And because I didn't know him,
I said, do you know where my father lives?

01:27:59.980 --> 01:28:01.700
And he said, who are you and what's your
name?

01:28:02.160 --> 01:28:03.620
And I said, my name.

01:28:03.640 --> 01:28:04.940
And I didn't give him my church name.

01:28:04.980 --> 01:28:06.260
I gave him my family name.

01:28:06.600 --> 01:28:09.100
And that man looked at me and,
of course, it was his name.

01:28:09.160 --> 01:28:10.820
And he said, whokey, is this you?

01:28:11.340 --> 01:28:12.740
My father didn't know me, of course.

01:28:12.780 --> 01:28:13.460
It was my dad.

01:28:13.840 --> 01:28:16.740
Now, dear old man opened the door then and
invited me in.

01:28:16.740 --> 01:28:18.260
And I said, dad, is mother alive?

01:28:18.300 --> 01:28:19.460
Because I didn't know about her.

01:28:20.000 --> 01:28:21.240
And he took me back in to see her.

01:28:21.280 --> 01:28:21.900
And there she was.

01:28:21.980 --> 01:28:25.360
Seven and a half years she'd laid there an
invalid, a horrible, horrible invalid.

01:28:25.960 --> 01:28:27.840
And, of course, she didn't know me and I
didn't know her.

01:28:28.280 --> 01:28:30.720
Well, you know, that very night I took
violently sick and they put me back in

01:28:30.720 --> 01:28:32.400
another hospital for another three months.

01:28:32.900 --> 01:28:34.520
But my father paid all of those bills.

01:28:34.660 --> 01:28:37.760
He reimbursed the doctor and paid the
doctor in another country and paid the old

01:28:37.760 --> 01:28:37.940
people.

01:28:38.020 --> 01:28:38.920
He reimbursed them all.

01:28:39.520 --> 01:28:40.460
All of that was wonderful.

01:28:40.460 --> 01:28:43.360
Well, then, you know, one day after my
body was strong enough since I'm here in

01:28:43.360 --> 01:28:46.000
the United States, oh, it took a long
time, several years.

01:28:46.680 --> 01:28:48.780
I'm a nurse and I took the examination to
nurse.

01:28:49.100 --> 01:28:50.220
And do you know what God did?

01:28:50.780 --> 01:28:53.720
He let a woman come in to that particular
hospital.

01:28:53.840 --> 01:28:55.100
It was a Roman Catholic hospital.

01:28:55.600 --> 01:28:58.580
This woman was a Church of God minister.

01:29:00.020 --> 01:29:01.920
She came in and I thought, how strange.

01:29:03.080 --> 01:29:07.080
Just across the Mississippi River is two
magnificent Protestant hospitals and she

01:29:07.080 --> 01:29:08.720
lives in one of those cities.

01:29:09.120 --> 01:29:10.860
Right there, three cities joined together.

01:29:11.340 --> 01:29:14.320
And why in the world did she come over
here to this Roman Catholic hospital?

01:29:14.680 --> 01:29:17.000
Why, I believe God had his hand on it all
the time.

01:29:17.380 --> 01:29:20.220
You know that woman who came in and the
doctor said, I want you to stash her case.

01:29:20.300 --> 01:29:23.180
And I went into that room to prepare that
woman for the operating table.

01:29:23.520 --> 01:29:24.440
And I heard her praying.

01:29:25.040 --> 01:29:29.120
And I want you to know, I became that
woman's private nurse, her special nurse.

01:29:29.520 --> 01:29:32.600
After she left the hospital, she went home
and I became her special nurse in the

01:29:32.600 --> 01:29:32.860
home.

01:29:33.220 --> 01:29:35.700
And that woman asked me if I wouldn't go
to church with her.

01:29:36.280 --> 01:29:38.800
And you know, I lived in her home long
enough to hear her pray.

01:29:39.400 --> 01:29:42.840
I lived in that home long enough to read
the Bible to her because I am her nurse

01:29:42.840 --> 01:29:44.020
and I did what she told me to.

01:29:44.520 --> 01:29:47.980
I'd never read a Bible before in all of my
life and she'd have to find the scriptures

01:29:47.980 --> 01:29:49.060
and then I'd read them to her.

01:29:49.620 --> 01:29:52.340
And you know, as I read the word of God,
God began to get a hold of me.

01:29:52.860 --> 01:29:54.740
And finally she said, won't you go to
church with me?

01:29:54.760 --> 01:29:56.240
And you know, I went to church with that
woman.

01:29:56.740 --> 01:29:59.480
And I sat back there and heard the gospel
for the first time in my life.

01:29:59.940 --> 01:30:02.180
And you know, I'll tell you, I went
through four nights.

01:30:02.700 --> 01:30:03.720
And it was really beautiful.

01:30:03.720 --> 01:30:05.480
I've never heard anything like this.

01:30:05.960 --> 01:30:09.140
And all the time she was telling me about
the plan of salvation and telling me about

01:30:09.140 --> 01:30:11.700
God and that I needed God and I needed to
be saved.

01:30:11.800 --> 01:30:13.580
And of course, I was believing her.

01:30:13.960 --> 01:30:15.060
Do you know what I'd do every night?

01:30:15.160 --> 01:30:16.480
I'd go home from church with that woman.

01:30:16.560 --> 01:30:18.440
I'd say, you go to bed but let me go to
the basement.

01:30:18.840 --> 01:30:21.880
I'd lay my Bible down on a chair and there
I'd challenge God and I'd say,

01:30:21.920 --> 01:30:23.460
God, did you hear what the preacher said?

01:30:23.900 --> 01:30:24.780
Did you hear it, God?

01:30:24.820 --> 01:30:27.600
And then I would tell God everything that
I could remember the preacher said.

01:30:27.960 --> 01:30:30.240
And I said, God, you heard every word,
didn't you?

01:30:30.240 --> 01:30:35.760
Now, if you're God and the Bible is the
word of God, and God, you're real,

01:30:36.860 --> 01:30:38.360
I want what those people have.

01:30:39.100 --> 01:30:43.760
But if you're not God and the word of God
is not your way, then God, please don't

01:30:43.760 --> 01:30:45.280
give to me what those people have.

01:30:45.820 --> 01:30:47.220
Let me tell you, I challenged God.

01:30:47.540 --> 01:30:48.580
I put him to a test.

01:30:49.040 --> 01:30:51.640
God's not going to give you anything
that's not of God.

01:30:52.060 --> 01:30:52.680
Don't you worry.

01:30:53.280 --> 01:30:56.080
And every night I continued to do that
four or five nights and I didn't eat

01:30:56.080 --> 01:30:56.440
either.

01:30:56.720 --> 01:30:59.660
I couldn't sleep and I'd lost my appetite
and I was losing a lot of weight.

01:30:59.660 --> 01:31:00.580
It was terrific.

01:31:00.760 --> 01:31:05.720
But you know, one night I come back to
church and out of a clear blue sky,

01:31:05.760 --> 01:31:08.660
right in the middle of that man's service,
I just got out of my seat.

01:31:09.260 --> 01:31:11.960
And with both hands up in the air,
I come running right straight down an

01:31:11.960 --> 01:31:12.720
aisle like that.

01:31:13.120 --> 01:31:17.180
And I saw him at that altar and I cried
out, my God, forgive me for all my sins.

01:31:17.620 --> 01:31:18.320
I was a sinner.

01:31:19.440 --> 01:31:20.760
I mean, God met me there.

01:31:21.020 --> 01:31:22.240
Praise His wonderful name.

01:31:23.260 --> 01:31:24.640
There's a pool of water on that floor.

01:31:25.360 --> 01:31:27.560
I was sorry for everything that I did in
the convent.

01:31:27.620 --> 01:31:28.720
I stole potato peelings.

01:31:28.720 --> 01:31:29.780
I stole bread.

01:31:30.080 --> 01:31:30.920
I told lies.

01:31:31.500 --> 01:31:33.660
I called the mother's superior names under
my breath.

01:31:34.100 --> 01:31:37.460
And I want you to know God met me down
there and He forgave me of every sin there

01:31:37.460 --> 01:31:38.280
was in my life.

01:31:38.700 --> 01:31:40.700
And how I thank and praise Him for it.

01:31:41.020 --> 01:31:41.980
Praise His wonderful name.

01:31:42.040 --> 01:31:43.220
God's been very good to me.

01:31:44.540 --> 01:31:45.520
Very good to me.

01:31:46.860 --> 01:31:49.620
A few nights previous to that,
I went back to church.

01:31:51.400 --> 01:31:53.600
God filled me with the baptism of the Holy
Ghost.

01:31:55.040 --> 01:31:59.380
May I say to you, God means more to me
than all the material wealth you have in

01:31:59.380 --> 01:31:59.780
this city.

01:32:00.340 --> 01:32:05.220
I'd rather have Jesus than anything you
might have because I found Him to be the

01:32:05.220 --> 01:32:06.820
best friend I've ever known.

01:32:07.440 --> 01:32:11.160
I can tell Him anything I want to tell Him
and He won't call you up and tell you what

01:32:11.160 --> 01:32:11.800
I told Him.

01:32:12.560 --> 01:32:16.700
I can sit at His feet and tell Him every
day of my life, Jesus, I love you.

01:32:17.500 --> 01:32:18.600
Jesus, I love you.

01:32:18.600 --> 01:32:23.880
And every secret of my heart, I can pour
out to Him and I don't worry about Him

01:32:23.880 --> 01:32:25.840
calling you up and telling you what I told
Him.

01:32:26.400 --> 01:32:27.800
He's the best friend you ever had.

01:32:28.400 --> 01:32:29.520
He's able to save you.

01:32:29.940 --> 01:32:31.100
He's able to deliver you.

01:32:31.480 --> 01:32:35.920
He's able to loose you from the things of
this world, set you free to know Him.

01:32:36.320 --> 01:32:36.980
Praise His name.

01:32:37.560 --> 01:32:38.760
I have a wonderful God.

01:32:39.940 --> 01:32:41.700
I love Him supremely.

01:32:42.160 --> 01:32:44.600
I'd rather have Jesus than anything that
you might have.

01:32:44.980 --> 01:32:46.320
God is real in my life.

01:32:46.320 --> 01:32:47.580
Really wonderful.

01:32:48.520 --> 01:32:50.260
How God delivered me out of the convicts.

01:32:50.360 --> 01:32:50.940
Pray for me.

01:32:51.480 --> 01:32:52.520
I need much prayer.

01:32:53.040 --> 01:32:55.420
I'll be going places where it's
predominantly Roman Catholic.

01:32:55.820 --> 01:32:57.160
I'll have to suffer much.

01:32:57.560 --> 01:32:59.220
But I'm willing to suffer for Jesus.

01:32:59.680 --> 01:33:04.420
That I might tell someone about Him and
give my testimonies that other dear little

01:33:04.420 --> 01:33:06.540
girls might be spared from convicts.

01:33:06.860 --> 01:33:07.920
So pray for me, won't you?

01:33:08.060 --> 01:33:08.920
God bless you.

01:33:10.520 --> 01:33:11.700
Well, what do you think?

01:33:12.440 --> 01:33:14.720
I told you at the beginning it would be a
very, very good thing.

01:33:15.460 --> 01:33:19.220
You'll recall that we introduced in
Jamaica the book Maria Monk, which was

01:33:19.220 --> 01:33:20.380
once a band video.

01:33:21.180 --> 01:33:24.260
We feel this tape is a perfect complement
to the book.

01:33:25.060 --> 01:33:29.560
We've also introduced another volume,
The New Illustrated Great Controversy,

01:33:30.220 --> 01:33:34.060
which is being sold right now in many,
many bookstores across the island,

01:33:34.200 --> 01:33:35.160
including Sanchez.

01:33:35.780 --> 01:33:38.340
We'd urge you to get a copy as quickly as
you can.

01:33:39.140 --> 01:33:42.420
You probably received this tape without
paying anything for it.

01:33:43.160 --> 01:33:47.780
We'd like to let you know that you have
our permission to duplicate this tape and

01:33:47.780 --> 01:33:49.960
to distribute it as far and as wide as you
choose.

01:33:50.860 --> 01:33:54.320
Freely we have received, freely we give to
you.

01:33:54.920 --> 01:33:55.680
May God bless you.