WEBVTT

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The story that you are about to hear is,
or has been in one way or another,

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his own story.

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It is the story of every human being,
religious or not, to have even tried to

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worship God and Christ without knowing
them.

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Some in ignorance, and others with their
consciousness, scientific, religious,

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and traditionally characterized.

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Some based on the modus vivendis,
and others on an inexplicable piety and

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devotion, many times, to the same human
reason.

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This was the case of a Cornelius,
Paul, Augustine, Teresa of Jesus,

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Luis de Leon, Casidoro de Reina,
Cipriano de Varela, Savonarola,

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Jules Wycliffe, Martín Lutero,
and an endless number of men and women who

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preferred to obey God and Christ rather
than the Pope and his Roman court.

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This is the case of our brother and
reverend Dr. Alberto Magno Rivera,

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Bishop of the Catholic Apostolic Church in
Spain.

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With you, the servant of Christ and priest
of God.

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Said the great Spanish philosopher Ortega
y Gasset, I am I plus my circumstances.

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And it is precisely the circumstances that
surrounded my life and the circumstances

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that made me, at the age of seven,
take the incognito determination that I

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had to take, that caused in me the
constant agony of becoming a priest.

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It was these circumstances, seen from the
point of view of my own mother and her own

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experiences, that propelled her,
in my own ignorance of what this meant,

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to choose me among all her children,
so that this desire would be fulfilled to

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become a priest.

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And it is the circumstances that propel,
at all times and at all moments,

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that many mothers, fathers, families,
all over this known land, direct their

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impulses and good intentions to lead their
children and their daughters to become

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priests, monks and nuns.

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It is also the circumstances that propel
these and these, at a certain mature age,

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to choose the path of the priesthood or
the cloister.

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These may be of different natures,
but whatever the nature of these

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circumstances, they are always the ones
that imprint in the character and in the

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conscience of the person what must be in
the future.

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The circumstances that I was surrounded,
especially, in an implicitly Roman

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Catholic home, a home that, necessarily
under the pious devotion to the Virgin and

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to the saints, was primarily due to the
Church, is the devotion that fed,

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in the midst of my circumstances,
the desire to be consecrated to the

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priesthood, even at that early age,
through my own intentions and impulses,

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by dedicating myself to play, not with the
toys that children normally play at that

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age, but already using religious
instruments to practice, in the form of a

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game, the religious practice of the Mass.

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Due to these circumstances, my mother,
impressed by this, begins to notice,

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to see and to understand that,
in some way, God called me to the ministry

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of the priesthood.

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Isn't this the same circumstance that
leads to priests and nuns, to be priests

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and nuns?

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No.

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There are other reasons, there are other
reasons that drive people to become

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priests and nuns.

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But if, among all the reasons and motives,
there is not one that implies the idea,

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the genuine idea, and the genuine
experience of serving God and Christ,

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this, sooner or later, this intention will
be confronted, and confronted for a bad

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result, for a fatal end.

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But if, in these circumstances,
the desire to serve God and Christ,

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devotedly and faithfully, is implied,
sooner or later, the light itself,

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from Christ and from God, to whom,
in our ignorance, we are disposed to

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serve, will shine, as it shone in my own
life, in my own path.

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Sooner or later, these circumstances will
be changed, and these circumstances will

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come to be the genuine circumstances that,
in ignorance, came to be my own.

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The circumstances that drive me to enter a
seminary at the age of seven.

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The doors of the seminary opened for me
like the same doors of glory and heaven.

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At that moment, my own experience,
which I could not understand because of my

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young age, told me from that moment that
they also closed, they closed at the

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moment they opened so as not to give more
space to the world, to the darkness,

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but as I had been taught, to the light,
to the light that can only be received

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from the Holy Mother Church.

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In this way, the world was already
beginning to be unknown to me,

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to enter a new world, an unknown world,
but a world of hope, which was already

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sheltered in my short age, in my short
experience, and in my short emotion.

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The world of glory, the world of holiness,
the world of justice, the world of

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forgiveness, the world of fear of God,
the world of respect for the human being.

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In this way, I want to say that with the
same innocence, with the same temperance,

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with the same holy ignorance that now
accompanied my age, I make this statement,

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I make this confession, not only of why I
became a priest, but also of why I stopped

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being a priest at the service of Rome,
to become a priest at the service of

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Christ and of God.

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In this way, as I continue in the story of
my experiences, I wish to be clear and

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clear that it is not my intention,
in any way, nor do I intend to defame in

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any way the institution to which I served
with all the most healthy intention of my

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heart and soul, in my own ignorance.

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And I do not accuse anyone, on the
contrary, I accuse myself a thousand times

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of not having obeyed God before man.

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Many years before, of having done it years
later.

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However, the circumstances tried to
enslave me of that which I served.

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The circumstances tried to enslave my
conscience of that which my soul

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confronted with the word of God when it
was already read of me.

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That is why, I repeat, I do not accuse
anyone.

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Instead, I accuse myself of remembering
these things, an accusation of which I can

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already be sure that God has forgiven me
in Christ.

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And this guilt is no longer felt in me.

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On the contrary, Christ has taken it along
with my sins.

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In this way, I want to point out that in
this moment, being already in the

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seminary, on an occasion, after a year and
a half of not seeing my mother,

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I was called by the rector of the
seminary.

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And when I was called, in this interview,
I could notice that there was something

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different to the usual, to the normal of
all the interviews there have been with

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the rector.

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It is on this occasion, it was said to me,
that I was allowed to leave the seminary

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due to an emergency.

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My head was debating and my thoughts were
getting confused, not understanding what

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was happening.

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But at that moment, my aunt and some other
family members came in, and I could

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realize that it was something related to
my family.

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The rector informed me that I would be
away from the seminary for four hours,

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and that my own aunt would bring me back.

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Already under this impression,
I could ask my aunt what was happening.

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And she, with tears in her eyes,
told me, Your mother is very sick.

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She wants to see you.

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So we got ready, arriving at the house,
and entering the house immediately.

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I could feel, not only the influence of
that aspect of death that began to

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surround the corridors, the rooms,
and all those walls that one day were so

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dear to me.

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All that place, the furniture,
the floors, everything seemed to smell of

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death.

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But next to this impression, what
impressed me the most in the face of

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everything, even before seeing my own
mother on her bed of agony, of death,

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was the prayer that so deeply went there
with my own consciousness.

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And in a state of supreme despair and
anguish, prayers still caused this

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impression with more power in my soul,
in my spirit.

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And I could notice that instead of being a
consolation to my soul, this same devotion

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and this same mercy with which all those
women of Athens prayed for my mother's

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soul, they told me that rather than seeing
her alive, it seemed that they were

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rushing the cup of her death.

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I felt so confused that I could not
understand that all this could help my own

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faith, but on the contrary, my own faith
was fading.

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I did not know what I was doing,
if I had faith.

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As I approached the bed, my mother took my
hand, and already losing her sight,

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she tightly squeezed my hand in her hand
and said to me, My son, my priest!

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She was screaming at that moment,
My God, what is happening to my mother?

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My mother replied, Oh my son, help me,
help me, because I am horrified by what I

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see.

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I am horrified by what I feel.

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I feel surrounded by death, doubts,
confusion.

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I see strange specters around the
headboard of my bed.

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Oh my God, Holy Virgin, let someone help
me.

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At that moment I looked at the priest,
and when I looked at him, and I can

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remember him until that moment,
he replied, I have given the sacraments to

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your mother.

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I have done everything I could.

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I can not do anything else.

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I can not do anything else.

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I could feel that the agony of my own
mother was my own agony, and the death of

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my own mother was my own death,
because without knowing what to do,

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when I heard from the priest that I had
already done everything, and my mother was

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dying in greater agony, and in greater
confusion, death was taking her,

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I could question in my own mind,
in secret, and before God, and before

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heaven, what then has been the benefit of
all the sacraments known and to have,

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of all the blessings and indulgences
imparted, of all the prayers that were

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made until that moment, what was the
benefit of so much mercy, of so much

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devotion, if my mother was dying in fear,
in anguish and in confusion.

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The time passed, and already the traces of
this experience lived in the face of the

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death of my mother, brought as a
consequence new experiences, and these

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experiences that raised not only one
doubt, but many, one after another.

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Doubts that could not even be referred to
my own confessor.

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Doubts that I had to carry with me in my
subconscious, to the point of trying to

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put out the guilt that I felt by the very
fact of not confessing these doubts,

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of constantly submitting my body to
sacrifices and immense tortures,

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to sleep for months and months on four
chairs, with nothing to cover me except my

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own skin and my own flesh.

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On winter nights, I can remember how it
was taken, after three months,

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to be hospitalized in a hospital with a
cavern in my left lung.

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As a consequence of these constant
sufferings, as a consequence of this

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constant agony, which was no longer a
physical agony, but was already an agony

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that became a spiritual agony,
an agony through which I could constantly

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cry out, constantly, My God, have mercy on
me.

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My God, have mercy on me.

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And I believed myself more and more,
instead of being more just, more holy,

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more perfect, I believed myself more and
more unjust, more sinful, and with less

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hope of being able to find near God,
no consolation, no forgiveness.

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This constantly brought to my
consciousness the need for greater

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sacrifice, with the aim of extinguishing
this guilt, and with the aim of responding

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to the good intentions that still
sheltered my mind, sooner or later,

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to come to fulfill the desire of my
mother, a desire that had already ceased

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to be of my mother to become mine,
to become a priest, as it were.

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Priest, this word was constantly repeated
to me.

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Oh my God, let me see that day when I can
become a priest.

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And in the word and in the term I seemed
to see the solution of all my problems,

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of all my agony, of all my doubts,
of all my concerns.

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But time passed until on one occasion
something strange took place.

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Already at about 18 years of age,
I was called on the days of visit,

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and especially on Saturday, and I was told
that there was my family and a friend who

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visited me.

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At that moment, when I was addressing my
family, this friend took me by the arm and

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said, Alberto, I need to speak to you
immediately.

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I have something to say, I wish to give it
to you, but it has to be in secret,

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because what I have to bring is not
allowed to be given to you in public.

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I said, look, I have so little time to see
my family, I can only see her once,

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and you are going to take this away from
me, you are going to steal this time from

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me.

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Don't you think it is unfair?

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He said, it is unfair that you don't give
me this time.

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And I noticed how his tears ran down his
eyes.

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I realized that there was something very
serious to reject.

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Finally, I said, let's go to the garden,
and near the back of the garden,

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I said, give me whatever you have to give
me.

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He said, no, let's get to the end,
to hide behind some trees, and then I will

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grant you what I have come to bring you.

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We arrived, and taking something out of
his pocket, he put it in my pocket,

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and immediately he said, you don't need to
take it out.

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But I couldn't resist the idea,
the temptation to take it out,

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and when I took it out of my pocket,
I saw a little book in my hands.

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The title of the book was on the cover,
The New Testament of Our Lord Jesus

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Christ.

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Immediately I said, well, why have you
brought this to me?

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He said, you are studying to be a priest.

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I have read this book, and I believe that
only you can have it, and you must have

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it.

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I have seen with what fervor you have
consecrated yourself to be a priest,

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and I would like to do it, but I cannot.

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However, the things that are written in
this book, if I were to do them,

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he says, I would give my life for them.

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I say, how do you explain yourself in such
a way that you can give your life for some

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things that are written in a simple book
like this?

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He says, this is something more than a
simple book.

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I have found things here in this book that
I have never been able to receive through

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all my years of religion.

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I have found things that have brought me
the need to bring them to you.

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Because I have known of your constant
sacrifices, I have known of your tortures,

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I have known of your agonies, and I am
sure that if you read this book,

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you can have some benefit.

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When he spoke to me, I was turning the
pages of the book, and I was looking for

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whether the book was authorized by the
Church, if the book had the imprint of the

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Church on it, but I realized that it did
not.

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And then, desperately looking between one
side and the other of the pages,

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I said to him, you have compromised me,
you have made me sin, and you have made me

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sin gravely.

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You have brought me a book that speaks of
Jesus Christ, that speaks of God,

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and is not even authorized by the Church.

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This New Testament is not a New Testament.

24:20.760 --> 24:22.960
Wait a moment, this is a communist book.

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Therefore, you have made me sin gravely.

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You are evil.

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You must take the book right now.

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Wait a moment, do not take it.

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Leave it with me, because I am going to
burn it.

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I am going to burn it immediately.

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But you, from this moment, go to the
confessor, look for a confessor,

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and confess such grave sin.

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When I took the book in my hands,
I went to the incinerator, which was

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there, near where we were talking.

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And when I got to the incinerator,
I tried to throw it between the flames of

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the incinerator, and the book did not want
to come off my hands.

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It seemed that my hands and my fingers
were clasped in such a way that it could

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not come off.

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And one, and two, and three times I tried,
the book did not come off my hands.

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And already, when I approached the
incinerator, even the flames of the

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incinerator seemed to want to devour me,
when I tried to melt it between them.

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But when I moved away from the
incinerator, in an act of anger,

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I threw it.

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And when I threw it, it fell out of the
incinerator.

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It fell to the ground.

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And something told me to pick it up.

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I went and picked it up.

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That something could not be anything other
than the providence of God.

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At that moment, the Holy Spirit,
for me known as the Providence of God,

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the Holy Spirit, who began to reverberate
my consciousness, the Holy Spirit who

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began to bring light, and who right there,
bringing light, brought me the knowledge

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of the same revelation of God,
written.

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The Word of God had come to my hands.

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But not only had it come to my hands,
the Word of God had come, from that

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moment, to my consciousness.

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And through the days, the months,
the years, in which I devoured it,

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and secretly read it, under the blankets,
the blankets of my bed, in secret,

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with a flashlight, during the nights,
for more than three years, the Word of God

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began to come to my subconscious,
and to cross my soul, my spirit,

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my body, and to begin to confront
everything that was doctrine and teaching

26:43.080 --> 26:43.640
of man.

26:44.280 --> 26:48.840
I could hear the voice of Christ,
which was constantly being said to me,

26:48.940 --> 26:53.360
and was repeated, in the hours of silence
and devotion, they were repeated to me,

26:53.360 --> 26:56.640
one after another, within my own
consciousness.

26:57.080 --> 26:57.640
You are wrong.

26:58.960 --> 26:59.780
You are wrong.

27:00.980 --> 27:01.820
You are wrong.

27:01.820 --> 27:07.580
You are wrong because you do not know the
Scriptures and the power of God.

27:08.040 --> 27:11.620
That is what Christ said to the religious
of his time.

27:11.840 --> 27:17.960
And now I could feel that same living
Christ, that same Christ that I could

27:17.960 --> 27:22.740
already see, through the pages of that
revelation of the New Testament,

27:23.160 --> 27:29.280
that was a living Christ, I could already
feel it, speaking to my own soul.

27:29.280 --> 27:38.800
Say, Alberto, Alberto, you are wrong,
you are wrong, and the cause of your error

27:38.800 --> 27:45.260
is that you do not know the Scriptures and
the power of God.

27:46.560 --> 27:53.540
Scrooge the Scriptures, Alberto,
Scrooge the Scriptures, hear the same

27:53.540 --> 28:02.060
voice, because they, only the Scriptures,
are the ones that give testimony of me.

28:03.200 --> 28:09.960
And these words of Christ, one after
another, not only did they accompany me in

28:09.960 --> 28:15.600
the moments of silence and devotion,
and in the moments of my own

28:15.600 --> 28:22.860
consciousness, but they already began to
be heard in the corridors of the seminary

28:22.860 --> 28:26.160
and in the corridors of the cathedral
where we went to Mass.

28:26.620 --> 28:32.460
These words constantly accompanied me in
the streets, in the classes, all the time

28:32.460 --> 28:33.280
and all the hour.

28:34.320 --> 28:37.920
You are wrong, you are wrong, you are
wrong.

28:38.640 --> 28:42.240
You are wrong, Alberto, you are wrong.

28:42.760 --> 28:45.640
You are continually making mistakes.

28:45.640 --> 28:53.520
When you fast, when you submit your body
to continuous sacrifice, even the very

28:53.520 --> 28:56.520
death of your body, you are making
mistakes.

28:57.300 --> 29:04.480
When you submit your consciousness to the
traditional teaching of man and do not

29:04.480 --> 29:11.580
submit it to obedience to the word of God,
you are making mistakes, making mistakes

29:11.580 --> 29:12.280
continuously.

29:12.960 --> 29:21.120
In this confrontation, I had no choice but
to begin to expose, to expose what I

29:21.120 --> 29:26.600
lived, to expose what I felt, to expose
what for more than three years had already

29:26.600 --> 29:29.820
begun to take place in secret within me.

29:30.640 --> 29:35.040
And I began to expose it to students,
and I began to expose it to my teachers,

29:35.360 --> 29:37.640
and I began to expose it to my confessors.

29:37.640 --> 29:43.440
And between one and the other,
all I could hear was constantly this

29:43.440 --> 29:44.140
sentence.

29:45.720 --> 29:48.520
Alberto, remember that you are fighting in
vain.

29:49.060 --> 29:55.300
You fight in vain because the Church is
great and strong, and it is the Church.

29:56.180 --> 30:02.720
And remember that it is so great that you,
before the Church, are like a stone in the

30:02.720 --> 30:05.580
middle of the current of an impetuous
river.

30:05.580 --> 30:11.880
And you are working against the current,
against the current of centuries of

30:11.880 --> 30:17.960
tradition, against the current of
centuries of oral revelation, of councils

30:17.960 --> 30:18.860
and of Popes.

30:19.520 --> 30:23.020
You are fighting in vain.

30:24.380 --> 30:31.720
And once again, I could remember during
the nights when I meditated on this word,

30:32.480 --> 30:37.820
as a consolation, those accusations and
sentences that were made to me.

30:39.460 --> 30:43.120
You have no right to think about anything.

30:44.200 --> 30:49.920
Alberto, you have no right to think about
anything, I was told.

30:50.900 --> 30:57.840
That the Fathers of the Church never
thought, because the mere fact that your

30:57.840 --> 31:03.920
thoughts have doubts, they are telling you
that you are not faithful to the Church,

31:04.380 --> 31:08.580
that you are not faithful to the Holy
Mother Church, not even to the Pope,

31:08.680 --> 31:14.580
and for that reason neither to Christ,
because the Pope is the vicar of Christ on

31:14.580 --> 31:15.080
earth.

31:15.500 --> 31:19.740
And you cannot be faithful to Christ
without being faithful to the Pope and to

31:19.740 --> 31:20.240
the Church.

31:21.240 --> 31:24.980
Our Mother Church never makes mistakes.

31:25.760 --> 31:28.940
Our Mother Church is always correct.

31:29.560 --> 31:35.260
You may be found in error, but the Church
is always correct.

31:35.720 --> 31:42.260
Even more, remember and never forget,
until the end of your life, that outside

31:42.260 --> 31:45.380
the Church there is no salvation.

32:06.960 --> 32:14.780
And the day of my ordination came,
and it came in an era, in an era when Pope

32:14.780 --> 32:20.900
John XXIII himself already declared the
intentions of the Church and of the

32:20.900 --> 32:28.580
Fathers to open the door to the whole
world and to Christianity, to life in the

32:28.580 --> 32:33.040
whole world, to a new council,
to the Second Vatican Council.

32:33.040 --> 32:38.820
And together with my ordination,
not only did the hope of having fulfilled

32:38.820 --> 32:44.980
all my dreams and the prayers and prayers
of my mother come, but together with it I

32:44.980 --> 32:52.140
saw the hope to achieve through this
council, perhaps, what the years of life

32:52.140 --> 32:56.620
and struggle had sheltered in my
consciousness and in my subconscious,

32:57.340 --> 33:04.000
what the years of struggle and desire of
seeing the Church reformed, of seeing the

33:04.000 --> 33:08.580
Church adjusted, but more than anything,
of seeing my own life adjusted to the

33:08.580 --> 33:13.040
mandates of Christ and of God,
not according to councils and to Popes,

33:13.420 --> 33:19.420
not according to traditions, but according
to the very words of Christ in the Holy

33:19.420 --> 33:24.800
Scriptures, according to the same liturgy
and theology of that primitive Church that

33:24.800 --> 33:29.800
is described in the book of Acts,
they tell us that in this way they

33:29.800 --> 33:36.800
received the word being baptized and were
added that day of Pentecost as three

33:36.800 --> 33:41.760
thousand people and persevered in the
doctrine of the apostles, in communion

33:41.760 --> 33:46.440
with each other, in the breaking of the
bread and in the prayers.

33:47.160 --> 33:53.280
And in this way, he says, they sold their
properties, they had all things in common

33:53.280 --> 33:58.460
and persevered unanimously every day in
the temple, breaking the bread in the

33:58.460 --> 34:02.040
houses, they ate together with joy and
simplicity of heart.

34:02.520 --> 34:08.600
Praising God and having favor with all the
people, the Lord added every day to the

34:08.600 --> 34:11.280
Church those who had to be saved.

34:11.720 --> 34:17.820
And in the face of this authoritative and
unique description of the Church of Christ

34:17.820 --> 34:23.940
and of what this Church was in the first
Christian century, my soul eagerly awaited

34:23.940 --> 34:31.600
that this Council could bring to the world
the reality of what Christ was and what

34:31.600 --> 34:35.240
the Church of Christ was in the first
Christian century.

34:35.800 --> 34:38.760
This was what led me to continue my
career.

34:39.060 --> 34:45.500
This was what led me to strive to obtain
what my mother could have wished with all

34:45.500 --> 34:48.660
her life and her death, to become a
priest.

34:48.660 --> 34:54.180
This was what propelled me in the face of
the confrontation that I suffered between

34:54.180 --> 34:57.360
the mandates of God and the mandates of
man.

34:58.080 --> 35:02.260
This was what also led me to finally know
Christ.

35:03.440 --> 35:09.880
This was what, after having been ordained,
led me, together with a group of priests,

35:10.360 --> 35:16.660
to put and demand before our bishops that
the fulfillment of these words be carried

35:16.660 --> 35:22.800
out, together with the new decrees of the
Council, that not only everything become a

35:22.800 --> 35:26.680
theory, but that everything become a
reality, that the whole Church,

35:27.040 --> 35:31.500
that the institution that at this time was
called Church, and that for me was no

35:31.500 --> 35:37.200
longer the Church of Christ, to be
convinced in what the book of Revelations

35:37.200 --> 35:42.040
said, in the ramera, the mother of the
fornications of the earth, and the mother

35:42.040 --> 35:48.160
of the rameras, that at this time,
this apostate came to believe in Christ,

35:48.580 --> 35:51.460
as I felt that I needed to come to be.

35:51.740 --> 35:57.880
My pretensions, like the Jews before
Christ, described in the chapter 8 of St.

35:58.040 --> 36:01.960
John, and verse 31, my pretensions were
the same.

36:02.260 --> 36:07.700
I could claim before Christ and altercate
with my own Savior, that I was already a

36:07.700 --> 36:12.960
priest, that I had prayed, that I had
fasted, that I had submitted to my body

36:12.960 --> 36:18.400
fasts and sacrifices, and all kinds of
penance, that I had received so many and

36:18.400 --> 36:22.360
so many indulgences, that with all the
inheritance that I had received,

36:22.700 --> 36:27.440
that with all the practice, and with the
faith with which I believed, the obedience

36:27.440 --> 36:31.640
to all the mandates of the Church,
and to all the mandates of God,

36:31.960 --> 36:38.820
that I could claim that it was something,
however, like the Pharisees before Christ,

36:38.820 --> 36:43.200
they did not receive in response to
anything other than the words of the same

36:43.200 --> 36:43.680
Master.

36:44.040 --> 36:50.000
You, if you remain in my word,
you will be truly my disciples,

36:50.500 --> 36:53.680
and you will know the truth, and the truth
will make you free.

36:54.540 --> 36:58.740
Oh yes, if I choose you to be free,
you will be truly free.

36:59.140 --> 37:05.560
And since Christ himself already responded
to my claims, that there was nothing but

37:05.560 --> 37:11.160
to put my faith in him, and thus to
confess to him, I could not, at least,

37:11.380 --> 37:13.660
demand the same of my superiors.

37:14.200 --> 37:19.420
And in this demand, in response,
I suffered to be submitted and confined to

37:19.420 --> 37:25.840
a psychiatric hospital, and from this
moment I had to cross the thresholds of

37:25.840 --> 37:29.080
the psychiatric center to which I had been
confined.

37:29.900 --> 37:35.220
When, already interviewed by the director
of the Semer, I communicated that,

37:35.400 --> 37:42.480
by orders of the Church and my archbishop,
they were going to help me in order to

37:42.480 --> 37:47.900
make me return to mental and emotional
normality, I could understand that,

37:48.080 --> 37:53.020
in the midst of these circumstances,
my salvation was beginning to come closer

37:53.020 --> 37:53.620
than ever.

37:54.060 --> 37:58.760
It was a paradox, and I could understand
it, and I could not understand it.

37:59.160 --> 38:03.880
At the same time, it seemed that the doors
of that psychiatric center had not only

38:03.880 --> 38:07.920
opened like those of the seminary in my
childhood, but that they were also

38:07.920 --> 38:13.080
closing, and at this time they were
closing behind me, to life, to the hope of

38:13.080 --> 38:17.740
being able to leave this place,
and even to the hope of being able to

38:17.740 --> 38:19.440
communicate with anyone.

38:19.960 --> 38:23.440
But I no longer felt the need to
communicate with anyone.

38:23.820 --> 38:29.000
Now I felt like never before the need to
communicate with God, and in an act of

38:29.000 --> 38:39.720
determination, in an act in which I could
now feel within me that call of God from

38:39.720 --> 38:48.320
so many years ago, I could continue to
walk in the strength, in the energy of

38:48.320 --> 38:58.500
that hope, to see Him face to face,
as I could see Him through the pages of

38:58.500 --> 38:59.540
the Gospels.

38:59.540 --> 39:06.960
So I went to the room to which I had
already been confined.

39:07.580 --> 39:08.620
Until when?

39:08.960 --> 39:09.860
I did not know.

39:10.280 --> 39:18.600
Three months later, that hope that was in
me had already physically and morally

39:18.600 --> 39:27.340
disappeared, because finding myself inert,
completely inert, in the bed that was my

39:27.340 --> 39:33.580
bed, and was already the bed of my death,
and not only of my illness, I began to

39:33.580 --> 39:40.180
feel that life had gone, and that the same
skin was sticking to my bones,

39:40.580 --> 39:47.680
unable to speak, unable to hear,
unable to even see, because my physical

39:47.680 --> 39:53.900
vision had gone, unable to even eat,
because it was already feeding me

39:53.900 --> 39:57.340
intravenously through my veins.

39:57.620 --> 40:05.020
Thus, in this way, I felt within my own
consciousness, when I could no longer feel

40:05.020 --> 40:08.860
it outside of myself, the words of Christ.

40:09.360 --> 40:18.120
If you remain in my words, you will truly
be my disciples, and you will know the

40:18.120 --> 40:27.080
truth, and the truth will set you free,
will set you free, will set you free.

40:27.740 --> 40:34.580
You will be free, Alberto, Alberto,
you will be free knowing me.

40:35.380 --> 40:43.420
Oh, I cried out at that time, in response
to this call, my God, my God, if it is

40:43.420 --> 40:50.400
true that you are here, if it is true that
you are here, oh God, lift me up,

40:50.420 --> 40:58.720
save me, have mercy on me, have mercy on
me, oh God, and forgive my sins,

40:59.220 --> 41:03.620
forgive my offenses and my rebellions,
oh Christ.

41:04.600 --> 41:11.240
At this time, my prayer was no longer made
to wait, and feeling the life,

41:11.600 --> 41:17.860
and the same life of God flowing through
my veins, of my blood, of my body,

41:18.000 --> 41:25.220
of my soul and spirit, there I rose,
incorporating myself through the power of

41:25.220 --> 41:31.100
God, and I could already notice that the
same glory of God surrounded, flooded,

41:31.820 --> 41:39.640
even the physical darkness dissipated in
that room, in that room, and not only

41:39.640 --> 41:48.480
outside, but inside me, the same light of
God, the same glory of God began to give

41:48.480 --> 41:52.400
me signs of my salvation in Christ.

42:07.330 --> 42:09.510
Let us pray with this prayer.

42:10.190 --> 42:18.410
Lord Jesus, if this is my hour of
tribulation, I believe that you give me

42:18.410 --> 42:24.810
security, and if this is my hour of
struggle and war, I believe in your peace,

42:25.250 --> 42:30.490
and if this is my hour of doubt,
help my uncredulity, O Christ,

42:31.070 --> 42:37.150
and if this is my hour of hatred and
violence, I believe that right now,

42:37.510 --> 42:42.450
Jesus, you grant me love and tranquility.

42:43.110 --> 42:50.650
But above all, above all, O Christ,
if this is the hour in which after so much

42:50.650 --> 42:57.970
struggling, after so much searching,
and after so much confusion, I feel in

42:57.970 --> 43:04.890
you, O Jesus, the need, come to me,
O Christ, come to me in this moment,

43:05.510 --> 43:10.390
and right now, make your dwelling in my
heart.