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King Henry VIII's Song King Henry VIII's
my father Hoped I'd have some Tudor

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brothers Mum had no son so rather I got
plenty of stepmothers When at last Prince

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Ed was born The crown I bid adieu He said
as king he must be sworn Boys go first in

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the queue But there's no need to worry If
at first you don't succeed When Ed died I

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swept aside the rest And was decreed Mary
The first, that's me To the Lady and Queen

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of England Not to be confused with Mary
Queen of Scots Not the same, see Though

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weirdly, she's a cousin to me Some tried
to say Lady Jane Grey Should be Queen

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after Ed But England wanted me,
hooray So poor Jane lost her head

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Protestants were saying That my ruling
made them sick Cause when it came to

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praying My tastes were Catholic They
revolted, challenged me Fueled my great

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desire To tie 300 to a stake Light touch
paper, then retire Mary, the first,

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that's me Called the bloody Queen of
England Not what I intended, tried to be

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Good, you see But history only remembers I
was a catastrophe

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Married Philip, King of Spain Who then
left me England thought he was a pain,

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especially Cause he told me to attack
France with troops And when the French

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advance, we'll out-cave Whoops!

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Throughout my reign It rained and rained
It poured upon the poor Harvest failed,

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no food remained And flu killed many more
Burned Protestants and wed a fool Led

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armies to defeat Burned more Prots,
I'd say my rule was short But not that

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sweet I had no kids named half-sisters I'd
think Queen best to be So long as she

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would rule the land As a Catholic,
we like meat Lizzy didn't listen She made

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the country Protestant Meaning my legacy
was ruin, see Everything I tried to

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achieve went down the swan-ee A bit
embarrassing, really...